Chicago Chick

I'm Definitely Going to the "Other" Place

For those of you who are Catholic - remember confession?  How long has it been since you're last confession?  I think it's probably been over a decade since mine.  Lately, I've been mulling over religion and wondering where I stood on it.  David and I would like our babies to go to Catholic school - even though David doesn't know how to pray a Hail Mary or Our Father to save his life but that is another story.

Yesterday I was told by my client that the technical consultant that I am working with is going to be released from their project.  She was nice about it saying that his skill set didn't match what they needed and blah, blah, blah.  But, I couldn't help but feel guilty about his leaving.  Maybe there was something that I could have done to make it better.  Did I not provide him with the guidance that he needed?

Then I started thinking, "I'm not responsible for his success or failure and jeez if he cannot do his job then that isn't my fault!"  I also started to feel a bit happy that he was going to be gone because, truth be told, I thought he was a pain in the a$$.  Then I started feeling bad again.  I felt terrible for being happy that he was going to be rolling off the project.

So, now I'm going to hell.  But not for just being happy that someone I don't particularly care for is being removed from the project that I am on.  I'm also going to hell for making fun of a rather large woman who was wearing a lavender cowl neck sweater with a pencil straight mini skirt.  Granted, she was wearing black tights, but the whole outfit just made her numerous rolls of fat that much more prominent.

I'm going to hell for lying to my husband that I had an early morning meeting just so I could get a little non-family/non-work time to myself.  What mother doesn't want to spend time with her family?  There is much, MUCH more.  Suffice it to say that I am going to hell.  Of course I won't be sitting next to those who have committed murder.  Nope, I will be sitting in a lesser ring of hell - but hell nonetheless - where it's humid; you're forced to spend eternity on a Stairmaster; and there is no chocolate.

It All Works Out

It's been a crazy couple of weeks and with the temperatures hovering around 60 degrees lately, I forget that Christmas is around the corner sometimes.  I still have Christmas shopping to do, although it will probably consist of Christmas cards and writing checks.  But, green is a good color on everyone.

Earlier this week I thought I was pregnant again.  And, if it turned out that I was I would be happy and excited about it.  It would have been quite a surprise, but I would be excited if I were preggers.  I was anxious during the 3 minute test and was a little shocked that I was disappointed when the second line didn't appear.  All the way home from Walgreens I went from anxiety to thinking "It would be kinda nice to have another little one".  In the end, the extra line that did not appear is probably for the best.

My next door neighbor is pregnant and finally has come to terms with it.  She and her husband were in denial up until they did the ultrasound.  They're excited, but really nervous and I cannot say that I blame them.  It's amazing how something less than 10 pounds can profoundly change your life.  You get some good stuff, but then there is the "not so great" stuff that you have to adjust to.  In the end, it all works out.  My neighbor is something like 20 weeks along and you cannot tell that she's expecting.  She doesn't fit into her size 0 pants anymore, but is up to a size 2.  Disgusting.

I gave her the name of my OB/GYN and when my neighbor went to see her and mentioned my name, the Doc laughed and called me a "mensch".  I had to look that one up - my Yiddish is a little rusty since we moved out of the West Roger's Park neighborhood that I grew up in.  But, I can honestly say that is THE single best compliment I have ever gotten in my life.

More PC BullS%$#

So, I'm checking my e-mail this morning and read on the Comcast site this headline: "Nativity Booted from Christmas Festival".  After reading about it, I searched on the Chicago Tribune and found this article.

Here is a snippet of the article:

" . . .city officials say advertising plans, including a loop of the new film that was to be played on televisions at the festival, might offend non-Christians.

'Our guidance was that this very prominently placed advertisement would not only be insensitive to the many people of different faiths who come to enjoy the market for its food and unique gifts, but also it would be contrary to acceptable advertising standards suggested to the many festivals holding events on Daley Plaza,' Jim Law, executive director of the Mayor's Office of Special Events, said in a statement.

Cindy Gatziolis, a spokeswoman for the office, said the city does not want to appear to endorse one religion over another. While acknowledging that there is a nativity scene on the plaza, Gatziolis said there also will be representations of other faiths, including a Jewish menorah, all put up by private groups."

Maybe I'm taking this a little to seriously, but Christmas or at least those attending what is called the "Christkindlmarket" is about CHRIST - as in JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE! STOP BEING SO STUPID!  And, correct me if I am wrong but the first 6 letters of Christmas or "Christkindlmarket" spell out CHRIST.  Ya think that was by accident?  Hmmmm . . . Think again!

New Year's Resolutions

I know that it's too early to make any New Year's resolutions or to even be thinking of them, but I am.  It's typical of me to think way too far ahead thus spoiling the moment that I should be enjoying.

This past Thanksgiving, I participated in an 8K Turkey Trot in the Lincoln Park neighborhood.  Don't get too excited; I walked the 8K with my good friend, D.  One thing is for certain - one has a lot of time to think on a long walk.  I think the conversation started with "I cannot believe that it's Thanksgiving.  The year has gone so quickly!  blah, blah, blah."  I asked D if she made any New Year's resolutions and she said that she could never remember making any.

I told D that this year (or was it last year) I decided to make resolutions each month.  So, at the end of the year I had at least 12 months to get something right.  This year, I made a secret resolution NOT to get pregnant and have a baby for a 3rd year in a row.  Yes, I know that that is probably an easy resolution but why leave anything to chance.  Pretty funny for someone who was once called reproductively challenged.

Sorry - I digress.  So this year I am planning on doing the same thing.  No, not the NOT getting pregnant resolution (although I'm really not planning on having another one), but making monthly resolutions.  There are the usual resolutions like going to the gym and saving money and getting organized.  But, this year I thought I would make bigger resolutions, list the tasks to get the resolutions, and make the tasks my monthly resolutions.

Confused?  Okay, let's say that I smoked a pack a day - but I don't in real life; it's an EXAMPLE - and that I wanted to quit and become healthier.  The steps would be (1) cut down to a half pack (2) find a walking program I could live with (3) cut down to a pack a week (4) walk 3 times a week for some specified time (5) cut down to a pack a month . . . and so on. So, in January, I would cut down to a half pack and in February, I would find a walking program I could live with, etc.

Just typing that smoking thing made me a little anxious, so it's a good thing that I don't smoke.  I know one of the things is going to relate to running which I haven't been doing enough of lately.  I'm thinking that maybe if I started with my resolutions in the middle of December, it would give me some time to practice or to readjust my expectations.

I'm thinking that one of my resolutions for 2007 should be not to be such an overachiever and to enjoy the present!

The World Has Gotten Too PC

Yesterday's Thanksgiving festivities probably made up the WORST Thanksgiving ever.  It was the culmination of not seeing my family and other stuff.  I don't really want to relive it, but let's just wrap it up and put it by the curbside with the dried-up turkey carcass and disposable turkey pan.  I am hoping that your Thanksgiving was wonderful!

Instead, I want to talk about how this whole "PC" thing is totally out of hand.  The holidays are now completely upon us and one Chicago radio station has decided to play Christmas music 24/7.  It started after Halloween which is a tad bit early, but sometimes you just need a little Christmas right this very minute!  As I was driving home from David's family's house, I realized that it's only during this time of year where the mere mentioning of God and Christ and all that is "tolerated" by the ones who are usually the first to wave the whole "Hey, that's not politically correct" flag.

But, the downside to having Christmas spoken about in public is that it becomes very commercialized.  Christmas isn't a commercial holiday as most people know.  Santa is really SAINT Nicholas and the pretty songs (if you listen to most of the lyrics) are about celebrating a Christian person's birthday.  So, I will be politically INcorrect here and say that if you don't believe in God or Jesus or think that Jesus is the 'false prophet' then, sorry - you cannot put up a Christmas tree in your house or give Christmas presents.  People, those would be the politically correct HOLIDAY presents and the HOLIDAY tree.

Then, this morning I was catching up on my celebrity gossip.  I feel that I am entitled to read whatever crap I want because after 14 years of working as an intelligent person, I think that a little crap once in a while is okay.  But, I was reading about how Rosie O'Donnell called Kelly Ripa's remark about how she didn't know where Clay Aiken's hands had been, a gay slur and I thought what the f@#$ people!?!

Kelly Ripa is a person who is probably very in tune about germs and whatnot.  I know that David is a bit of a germaphobe, but has gotten much worse since we had the boys.  The "I don't know where your hands have been" comment has more to do with exactly that - I don't know where your hands have been and you've been out shaking people's hands and holding that microphone so God (yes, I said GOD) knows what kinds of bacteria and germs are on your hands!

For Rosie O'Donnell to turn it around into a "gay" bashing comment is ridiculous.  If someone like Rosie is all concerned about being politically correct, then she should just shut her big fat bazoo.  Although I used to be a Rosie O'Donnell fan, the "real" Rosie is not something I can stomach.  I don't like when people who have kids start waving the "I'm a parent" flag; I don't like it when people who just get married start waving the "I'm married" flag; and I certainly don't like it when people who have acknowledged their sexual preference start waving the "I'm a hetero (or bisexual or homosexual)" flag.

I think the only flag waving I am into is the kind at sporting events when the National Anthem is sung.  I don't like the flag waving thing because there is always more to the person waving the flag than whatever the flag their waving.  If you're waving the "I'm a fill-in-the-blank" flag, then it's hard for me to believe that you are only a fill-in-the-blank.  You're also someone's child, someone else's friend, someone else's employee, someone else's neighbor, and on and on.

I think we've become way too politically correct.  I want to go back to a time when Christmas was about God and Jesus and faith or a time when making a comment about how "I don't know where your hands have been" is really about germs and dirty hands and not about how a person may be gay.

There's Crap EVERYWHERE!

I love Thanksgiving holiday time and not because I like to shop.  I stay as far away from the malls as possible during the Christmas holiday thanks to the e-tailers.  I love that I get a 4 day weekend and really only have to spend one day with family.  Actually, it's more that I get to spend time with David's side of the family.  They're really nice, but my family is - well - LOUD and fun.

But, as I'm sitting at the kitchen counter typing this, I realize that the counter is a MESS!  You cannot eve see the counter because it's covered with all this junk.  Papers, packaged food, boxes, keys, toys, etc.  You name it and it's probably on my kitchen counter.  I swear that this spot was clean a couple of days ago.  Actually, it was thanks to David that the counter was clean.  I'm sure that I had something to do with the current state of the counter, but only SOME of it.

* SIGH * I guess Thanksgiving now means cleaning.  Everyday that I'm a parent I realize that the holidays and my life in general takes on new meaning.

Thud

Thud!  Did you hear that noise?  That would be the "THUD" of the other shoe as in "waiting for the other shoe to drop".  Last time I wrote about being happy and I was very happy at the time of the post.  I'm not unhappy now, but it's only because I've survived a string of not-so-great things that have happened lately.

This week at work has been harried - I was supposed to do training at the client site on one of the products that I happen to work with but *URGH* I needed a patch to be installed to fix what wasn't working.  Unfortunately, the patch broke something else which is NOT a huge surprise.  So, training has been postponed until next week.  So frustrating only because I was ready with my class material and had booked the room and the projector.  By last Friday I was good and exhausted.

Saturday was my nephew's second birthday and neither of my boys had taken a nap by the time we went to the restaurant.  I spent most of my time trying to make Nicholas happy and calm him down from being knocked over by a very large and stupid man who didn't even stop to see if Nicholas was okay.  Trust me, the guy had to know that he knocked the little guy down because he was screaming so loud that people down the street probably heard him.

By the time Nicholas finally fell asleep in my arms, I was exhausted.  I didn't get to eat any of the food and I barely spent any time with my family.  David was acting like a world class jack-a$$ even causing the guests at the party to stop and whisper nervously.  We finally decided to take Nicholas and Alexander home early, but by the time I got to the car I had lost my keys.  How it's possible to lose ones keys somewhere between the chair in the front foyer and the front door is beyond me.

This morning, I was supposed to run a 5K Turkey Trot, but slept through the 8:30 start time.  And, I must have been channeling my father because I used duct tape to make a handle on the remaining car key that I had.  By 2:00 this afternoon, I had HAD it!  I left for the grocery store and halfway there, the manager of the restaurant called and told me that they had found my keys.

Apparently, they were on the table in the room where another party was having a wedding reception.  The same party where the guy who knocked my baby over was at.  I must have dropped my keys in the front foyer and someone from the wedding reception picked them up.  Common sense would tell you to hand them over to the hostess, but apparently the person had the same number of brain cells as the guy who knocked Nicholas over.  Whoever picked them up set them on the table in the reception room and assumed that someone would pick them up.

I am hoping that finding my keys is a sign of better days to come.  I'm exhausted and have a tough schedule ahead of me this coming week.  Thank GOD it's a short week!

Blurry

This week has been quite a blur.  It started off so nicely and ended okay, but the middle part - UGH!  It's only 8:00 and I am so tired that I could just crawl into Nicholas' little bed and fall asleep.  Of course that would mean that I would be the only person sleeping in a twin bed.  Apparently, Nicholas has started boycotting nap time.

It's funny how when you're supposed to be taking naps that you don't want to, but when you get older and have to be awake you really, REALLY want to nap.  I swear if there was a quiet place at work where I wouldn't been discovered, I could have taken a quick 15 minute cat nap.  Of course then there would be the guilt.

This week has been something out of Ground Hog Day.  I'd swear that I am doing the same day over and over - get up; get showered and dressed; leave for work; spend 8 hours in meetings; sit in traffic; pick up toys; get ready for bed; and get up and do it again.  The only thing that makes me realize that it isn't the same day over and over is that I get up wearing different pajamas and wear different clothes to work.

Holding It Together

While last week was a complete disaster, this week seems to hold a little glimmer of hope.  I have a presentation to do this week plus a couple of meetings so that helps me focus on things better.  Even better than having a full schedule and lots to do to prepare for the meetings, I have a feeling of overall contentment.

The pessimist in me thinks that instead of enjoying the state of happiness I'm in, I should worry because it will only be a matter of time before the state of unhappiness sets in.  It's almost like I shouldn't enjoy the happiness and instead should be worrying about the future.  Am I doing the right things for my family?  Are the kids happy?  Is David happy?  Am I happy?  And, on and on and on.

It sounds strange, but I know that I'm not the only one who's like this.  But, I'm turning a corner.  I realize how lucky I am and when good stuff happens and the "I shouldn't be happy" thoughts cross my mind, I stop myself and think about the good stuff.  I take a second and enjoy the happiness for a little while.

Here's to a better week!

Sunday Again

It's Sunday and I am, as usual, feeling uninspired.  I woke up with the worst headache this morning which added nothing to my mood.  So far today I've fed the kids, napped on the couch, and have probably eaten my weight in cookies.  Uh, yep that's part of the answer to the question "How did you get so big?"

One would think that after being asked that by the honest of all types of people - a 4 year old - that I would do something about it.  Somehow, it made me think for like 24 hours but now I'm just back to where I was.  And the running boost that I got yesterday is pretty much gone.  It's a gorgeous day to go running but I'm still in my pajamas, unshowered, and sitting on the couch.

To top it off - It's Sunday which I usually detest!  Maybe when David gets back I will get going.  Actually, I'm thinking I'm going to put my running stuff on now so that when David does get back, I can just put my shoes on and go.

Starting Over - AGAIN

I haven't been running at all since last Sunday.  I didn't get up early enough this morning to make it out and when I did finally get up, Nick and Alex had haircut appointments to get to.  It's amazing how exhausting it is to get the little ones' hair cut.  There's the scramble to pack up and get loaded into the car and then driving over to the place and trying to find parking.

I must be stupid because I was surprised at how crowded the place was once we got there and it was only 10:00 am.  Then there was the crying and screaming.  I swear, you'd think we were taking Nick to have his fingernails pulled out.  Alex just squirmed a little, but he blew kisses to Dana, who was cutting his hair.  Still, by the time we all got home (30 minutes later), I was EXHAUSTED!

Sorry - I lapsed into "Mommy Mode" which I try not to.  After all, the kids have their own site.  Okay, so running.  By 3:00 I had finally decided to get my shoes on and go for a run.  I wasn't looking forward to it after the string of miserable runs that I've been having.  But, I kept hearing "How'd you get so big?" in my head over and over and over.

David decided to hijack my run and wanted to run for a minute and walk for 5 minutes.  I figured that since my runs weren't going so well, that there would be no harm in that.  So, after another 45 minutes of getting everyone dressed and into the stroller we started off.  And, guess what?  I actually enjoyed it.  I didn't mind that a minute run seemed so easy and instead I think it gave me a little boost of confidence.  I actually feel good about running again - so much so that I am planning on going out (by myself) tomorrow.

How Did You Get So Big

It's been a tough Thursday.  One of the people that is on my project is new to consulting although they have 24 years of experience in the business world - accounting to be exact.  This is her second project and she is having second thoughts about joining consulting.  Today was spent trying to ease her angst about the task that she needed to complete - creating a project plan.

Unfortunately, the project plan is due tomorrow morning and she waited until this afternoon to talk to the Practice Director about her issues.  So when tomorrow comes, she won't have a project plan to deliver and the Practice Director can't really do anything about it because of the short notice.

The technical resource on my project is also pretty new to consulting and has a communication issue.  He doesn't let you finish a question before he answers it.  Most conversations with the client go like this:

Client: "Have you been able to . . ."
Tech Resource: "Yes"
Client: * awkward silence * and then "Have you been able to . . . "
Tech Resource: "No"
Client: "Let's try this again and please let me finish my . . ."
Tech Resource: "Yes.  I mean, okay okay okay"

It's frustrating, but today's conversation had to do with the word "NO" and the fact that the Tech Resource didn't understand the meaning of the word.  When someone told him not to do something his response was "So, do you want me to research that?".  The person talking to him said - quite emphatically - "No" and his response was "I can do some research" to which the person talking to him said, "And what part of NO do you not understand?"

The angst level in the room was getting to me and by the time lunchtime rolled around, I was feeling pretty anxious (for no reason) myself.  But, nothing prepared me for the question I was asked by a 4 year old, the very cute son of a nail tech, at the place where I get my manicures. 

Four year-old: How did you get so big?
Me: Do you mean tall or wide?
Four year-old: Wide
Me: Have babies back to back

Did I tell you it's been a tough day or what?!?!

Living in the Past

I'm trying desperately to convert my old entries into this site.  Then, I have to map my domain to this site which means a lot of DNS setting stuff.  Don't be surprised if the site is down temporarily while the whole mess gets propagated.  I'll let you know when it's going to happen.

This whole converting old entries is a pain even though the fine folks who host this site give you the functionality to import entries.  Still, you have to get the old stuff in the right format so it uploads properly (entries in the body field and categories in the category field, etc.).  It's a lot like implementing a new software system.

One would think that since that is what I do for a living that I'd be used to this.  Well, anyone who does the same job as me would probably agree with my statement that "CONVERTING DATA SUCKS!"  And it does because it's a lot like moving - the packing aspect anyways.  You're taking a lot of stuff, that you may not need, and putting it in your new home.  It's painful and tedious and it, well, SUCKS!

I suppose the good news is that I've finished converting 2003 entries.  I should also be thankful that I lost all my old entries from my pre-Chgochick.com site otherwise I would feel the need to convert those.  That site started in November 2001 and ended in August 2003 - eek!

And yes, I am feeling better - thank you for asking.  Well enough to take the time to post a second entry.

Stomach Ailment Gives Plenty of Time to Think

I seem to have caught some strange stomach bug because I was up most of the night.  Let's just say that I have a new relationship with the porcelain bowl in our bathroom.  Being up all night affords me the opportunity to get online.  I'm not even going to comment on Britney Spears' divorce except for this: It's about FREAKIN time!

I don't really want to talk about electron results except to wonder how in the world people are able to vote when the people in charge are not able to hit the right button.  God, people!  Even my 2 year old can hit a button.  Maybe the trick is to make the button red and have the words "PUSH" on the button.  At least that seems to help my son who every time he hits the button, he says "PUSH".

There are a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish today at work, but having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes and lack of sleep are preventing me from clearing my lengthy to do list.  There are personal things that I wanted to accomplish today too, but once again having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes and needing sleep are stooping that from happening.  I had planned to run today, but it's doubtful that will happen.

Maybe the only thing that I should be concentrating on is that it's taken me 4 minutes and 30 seconds to type this entry which means I have 30 seconds to make it to the bathroom!

Strange

I work with a lot of immigrants from India - it's the nature of the industry I work in.  With all the outsourcing that seems to be happening, although it seems less now than before, I am left to wonder what people from India think about all of this.  On the project that I'm on now, I've been assigned a technical resource who came from India.  He came as a student and then got a Visa to work in the United States.

He hasn't been in the US very long - I think it's been about 3 1/2 years.  Two years as a student and the last 1 1/2 years working.  But, it's still pretty interesting hearing his views.  Today he told me that he didn't think he could have a successful marriage with a "Westerner".  I have heard of that term, but I've never heard it used by anyone I spoke with.

When I asked even if the person he was going to marry was from his caste and country, he said that the marriage wouldn't work out.  Hmmmm.  The reason for this was that the person would be too "Westernized" and therefore would not make a "suitable match for him."  He then went on to say that he didn't think that people who were of Indian (or other immigrant) descent who came here as children were really Indian (or nationality).  To him these type of people were "Westerners" and therefore American.

This is the point where I objected.  Yes, I came here as a child but I grew up in a very Filipino household with grandparents and aunts living with us under one roof.  I was taught to respect my parents and elders in a way that befitted a Filipino household.  I ate Filipino food and washed dishes (because I was a girl) and wore chinellas - slippers - around the house.  I didn't leave the house during Good Friday and went to church every Sunday and holiday.  I can speak some Tagalog and even some of my parents' dialect.

In fact, there are still some things that I do in my house because it's the way that I was brought up.  I think that I grew up very Filipino with a twist.  But, to call me not a "real" Filipino annoys me.  I can respect my co-worker's view but I don't agree with it.  I think that was the closest I came to reverse-discrimination which is really a misnomer.  But, that's another topic for another post.

Random Thoughts

I'm settling into my new project and may be there until January.  The work is somewhat challenging, but at least I am off the bench.  When you get on a new project there are new people to meet and new personalities to get to know.  What I really like is getting used to the new atmosphere.  More often times than not, the client puts you in a conference room in the middle of everything and you get to hear some really strange things.

This week at work I overheard (or was asked) the following:

• You're so hard working - are you rich?
• That's the difference between a contractor and consultant.  Contractors don't think outside the box or to the next step.
• Hey, you look like Cheryl Burke.
• The woman down the hall likes to feel my hair after I get it cut.
• Mumble, mumble, mumble
• Don't turn off the light in there - the roaches come out!

It's been a very interesting couple of weeks.  Luckily because the project isn't challenging, I've had some time to think.  Usually, that's not a good thing.  But, I've realized that it's time to clean house - there are some things that I used to do (post on other blogs) that I don't think I'll have time to do.  There are a lot of things that seem to suck up time and I no longer have time - or the patience - to do.

So, this weekend I will go sit on a proverbial rock and reassess.  I need to weed somethings out of my life to make room for the more important things.