I know that we are DEFINITELY going through some role reversal thing at our house because David said to me this morning, "We have a household to run! Get off of that thing (laptop)!" My husband, bless his soul - his nagging soul, has tried to take over the household duties. And, although he doesn't keep the house as clean as I did when I was home with 2 kids; a gaping C-section scar; postpartum depression; and 20 pounds of extra pregnancy weight, he does try.
I've noticed that when I get home and he's had a tough day with the kids, I get the "You never do anything in the house." and "I'm home with the kids all day the least you could do is TALK to me!" stuff that traditional mother-type homemakers say on television shows. On the one hand it's pretty humorous, but today it's just annoying.
Yes, we are fortunate that someone can stay home with the kids. But, I would love more than nothing to have the ability to be the one to stay home with the kids. I usually work a 40-plus hour week outside of the home and when I get home I'm STILL Mommy. Mommy who snuggles the kids; plays with them; snuggles them; and puts them to bed.
I'm still Mommy - the ones that the kids cry to. I love being "Mommy" and I know that I'm fortunate that David takes such good care of them, but this double duty thing is tough. I'd rather just be Mommy sometimes and the nagging that I get for being the one working outside the home is not fun. Ugh! Life is just exhausting sometimes. Always rewarding, but sometimes just too exhausting!
I TOTALLY know what you mean. I was going to write a long comment in response, but it ended up being almost exactly what you said. I've been on both sides as well, the one working and now, the one at home. Believe me, I know what you're sayin' :) I almost got to go to Target *by myself* the other day, but it didn't work out. I was so excited about the thought of it for those two seconds :(
Posted by: Michelle | January 13, 2007 at 03:49 PM
This makes sense, and I totally know what you mean.
I always thought, when I am being unreasonable that it is doubly hard for a mother to be fully employed. Its' because when a mother gets home, it's different.
A man can go home after a full day of work, go to his office after giving kids a hug, and not give second thought to the state of kitchen, bathroom or any room in the house at all. A mother (or an average mother) would.
So being a Mom, working out of the house full time, is like holding down two jobs. One full time, and another almost full time.
I love it myself, but I am just a tad glad that I work at home and I can pretend that I only have one job. Stay at home Mom.
I am impressed by anyone who does work outside the home and still be sane and loving.
Posted by: Shoshana | January 13, 2007 at 11:35 PM