Drama!

I am calm - completely calm (finally).  David and I were talking about "the incident" and what it means last night while he was loading the dishwasher.  Nick was in the kitchen playing with his magnetic letters and obviously listening to what we were saying because he starts laughing and saying "Such Drama!  How can this be, this drama?"

How can you not be calm after a comment like that?!?  This morning I've been going through e-mails and comments to my recent posts.  First of all I'd like to say THANK YOU to everyone for the supportive e-mails and comments.  It's cool that I can add people that I don't know by face (or sometimes name) to my network of support.  It only makes me realize that I really am a lucky person.  Or, as the grandma in the movie Hope Floats says, "My cup runneth over!"

But it occurred to me that I didn't talk about what happened - what was "the incident".  Well, here it is.  I want to write it out and never speak about it again (though I'm sure that won't be the case):

Someone close to me, M, brought up the idea that Nick was Autistic.  We talked about it and I went on the Internet to look up information and found a site that had a self-test.  I took the test and maybe I didn't understand the test or maybe it was because it was 2 in the morning or maybe Nick really does have issues, but the test said that there was a possibility that Nick had some developmental issues.

By 3:00 that same morning, I'm sitting on the couch sobbing and my husband had to come out and calm me down.  When I explain what happened to my friend, N, she says that's crazy.  She's been around Nick and yes he doesn't "perform" his ABCs and 123s on command but Nick is a child and not a circus monkey.  Still, I make an appointment for the doctor and I call the Early Intervention people and make an appointment.

The pediatrician says Nick seems fine and the Early Intervention people call for an appointment.  This past Wednesday, David and I went to the Early Intervention appointment where the intake counselor tells me that M called 2 days ago to find out what's going on with Nick.  I was shocked.  I never gave M the information on who the intake counselor was.  Initially, the shock made me think that there was some mistake.  I asked the counselor again and again and AGAIN, but she gave me the same answer.

M was unable to get any information because M is not Nick's legal guardian or parent.  Thank GOD for those HIPPA laws!  When we left, I was angry but willing to give M the benefit of the doubt.  She was only concerned about Nick and had his best interests at heart was what I kept telling myself.  I never had any intention of confronting M about it.

But, later that day I saw M and she was trying to get Nick to do his ABCs and 123s on command again.  When I told her that he knows them she rolled her eyes and shook her head and said, "No, no.  Something is wrong."  That's when I said, "Of course!  Nick is Autistic and you know everything.  Did you get your medical degree and license while I wasn't looking?"  After that it all came out.

At first she denied calling the Early Intervention people but when I told her the intake counselor told me that she did, she couldn't deny it any more.  I started yelling.  I told her that she had a lot of nerve and that I couldn't believe that she did that.  I told her that her actions told me that she didn't think I was doing everything I could to find out if something was wrong and that I was a bad parent.  I told her that if she had a problem with David or my parenting skills then she should call DCFS.

By now M is crying and I am furious and getting ready to leave with David.  I'm reminding her that we agreed that David and I would handle it because, after all, we are the boys' parents and we're fully capable and competent.  I'm telling her that she betrayed my trust and she crossed the line.  Then M's husband tells me to "Never talk to me again!" and to "Get out and never come back!" and then threw Nick's books at us.  Mind you, this happened all in front of Alex and Nick.

Nick was crying when he saw that I was upset.  I was carrying him towards the door.  Then, the books went flying and I smirked a "Oh that's mature and you've gotta be kidding" smirk.  Nick stopped crying when he looked at the expression on my face.  I think he knew that we were going to be okay.  After all, Mommy wasn't hurt or concerned.

So, that (minus some details) is the story of "the incident".  In hindsight, I should have known that this was going to happen.  It probably should have happened sooner rather than later.  Things have not been the same, as you all know.  Last night as David and I were talking I realized that Nick's statement was so appropriate: "Such Drama!  How can this be, this drama?"

Comments

[Amy]

Um...why on earth did M think that it was HER business to know how Nick's evaluation went? She's not his mother, so it's privileged information.

Yes, thank God for HIPAAA! She should've known better.

Wow. That's just plain scary, if you ask me.