This Job Sucks!

If there was a job posting that said:

Hardworking, energetic, and organized individual needed for a challenging - yet rewarding - position.  Must have excellent organization, delegation, and communication skills as well as the ability to multi-task.  We offer the opportunity to work from home!

Would you be interested?  Would you be interested if I told you that you would end up caring so much for your co-workers that you lost sleep over things that happened to them?  Would you be interested if I told you that the highs in this job were at nose-bleed levels but that the lows often felt like the bottom of hell?

For me, that is what being a parent is like.  There are moments where you feel so much joy that you cannot stand it only to be followed by a low that makes you feel like you are the worst person on earth.  As a person who cares about how well I do my job, whether it be "parenting" or working outside the home, it's hard not to beat myself up.  I've always been that way and I'm sure it's likely to continue to be that way.

This past week has been really, REALLY tough for me.  I've had highs at work (my work outside the home job) only to be followed by lows were I was in doubt on whether I would have a job the next day.  I've had highs at home, although it seems that I haven't been there a lot recently, followed by A LOT of lows.  I know it will all calm down soon.  The one low that really just "cleaned my clock" was Nick's preschool teacher's comment that "maybe Nick isn't ready for preschool."

Nick turned 3 a short 3 days before the cut-off and is the youngest child in his class.  Add to that the fact that he's a boy and boys are known to be a little less mature than girls and you have the potential for a comment that my son's preschool teacher made.  I know that my son is a smart kid, not just because I'm his mother, but because he is.  He knows his colors, shapes, numbers (up to 30 thankyouverymuch), and letters.  He knows his phone number, can spell his name (both formal and shortened), can spell his brother's name, and can spell our last name.

It's not that Nick isn't smart; it's that he doesn't like to be part of a group just yet.  He makes eye contact with other kids, smiles at them, and shares with them but when it's "Circle Time" he may not want to join.  I blame myself for that one because I'm like that even at 30 something.  Jeez, who needs "Circle Time" when there are more important and fun things to do on your own.  I'm a little annoyed and disappointed at the teacher and the school because we specifically selected this school because the student to teacher ratio was so small.  Plus, it's only the 2nd week of school (first full week).

Yes, I'm an over-protective mother and yeah I want my child to do well.  But, when you're told that "maybe you could sign him up for PK3 next year" and then (I'm paraphrasing here) send him to Kindergarten when he's 6 instead of 5, you get a little annoyed.  She went on to say that "I (really she) would rather have my child at the top of the class even though he's older."  Seriously, you get a little annoyed and you start to wonder that maybe this isn't the right school for your child.  I'm not saying that maybe Nick isn't ready for preschool, but I'm willing to let him finish out the month of September to see if he adjusts.

I love being a parent and I love my kids more than anything - yes even pretty, expensive, pointy shoes or an extra hour of sleep - but this job just sucks!  The pay (getting to see the boys grow up to be adults and the love I get in return) is probably the best that I'll ever get out of any job that I have but there is this emotional cost of worry and stress that will never go away.

Cross posted at Chicago Mom's Blog

Comments

[Mama Eye]

Wow, I cannot believe she made those comments after only 2 weeks. ALL kids need time to transition to a new routine, she was really wrong in her "advice". I would speak to that director or whoever that gave you the tour and signed you up to get her opinion (or really, to go over the teacher's head and complain). You are right to let Nick stick it out - that woman's comments were out of line. He will do well!

[Carrie]

I really feel you here because I watched my Nutmeg, also 3, wander around the shallow end of the pool twice a week at swimming lessons instead of staying with the teachers. One day they even forgot her in the pool at the end of class because she had wandered so far away from them! I decided she was not ready for solo swimming lessons and didn't reup her at the end of the session.

But, of course, the decision is not so easy with preschool. I would be annoyed too by this woman mapping out my kid's whole near future for me. I have heard a lot of people delay the start of school for kids with late birthdays these days, but I'm not sure if I would be one of those people. I'm sure you will know what the right course is after a few weeks.

If he's truly not ready -- or not ready for that particular school's preschool program -- big deal. It's obviously not a reflection on how smart he is.