Chicago Chick

Work Updates, Something I Don't Like to Do

This may be my last post about work and I am hoping that the worst of the craziness is over.  I think that if I ever even talk about leaving consulting, someone needs to e-mail me and crack me up side the head.  What ended up happening on my last day at the other company was that I sat around for 4 hours staring at a PC screen doing nothing but checking e-mail and reading articles on line; I also spent a good part of that time walking over to the so-called project lead's cube and asking her what else needed to be done.

The fact that there was nothing that could be done until certain reports were run (by her because nobody else had access) was not lost on me.  The project lead was busy dealing with personal issues that she didn't run the reports and so I spent the morning staring at my screen.  The last 4 hours of my day were spent doing nothing at home.  The "lead" sent me home because there was nothing to do.  So, because I do a great job of CYA (cover yer ass) I sent an e-mail to the VP of Operations letting her know that I charged 4 hours to "flex time" and I fully expected to get paid for a full day because the "lead" told me to go home.  It's all so childish and unprofessional and I will be lucky if I never have to work at that type of company again.

Honestly, it was like being in Kindergarten and if there were cookies there is no doubt that one of my ex-coworkers would have thrown one at me.  Today was my first day at the new company and it was a relief to be back to a place where I felt comfortable.  I did all of my paperwork, had lunch with some new co-workers, and went home.  I suppose timing is everything because this is where I would have been if I had accepted my boss' offer to be the Practice Director back in June of this year.  All in all, it was a good week even though the first part of this week was a bit rocky.

Inside My Head

At 30 something you would think that any kind of drama in my life would be over.  I mean, I'm a long time (10 years is kinda long) married chick with 2 toddler boys.  The only drama created in my life is due to getting my oldest son to eat.  This week has been filled with drama and very short lived - thank God!  When things start to get a little heavy in my life I like to laugh to alleviate some of the stress.  This usually comes in the form of doing things like playing with the kids; jumping on the bed; or watching cartoons with the boys.

Last night I was teaching Nick and Alex to do somersaults on the bed.  We were also jumping on the bed, but don't tell David because he hates when I do that.  Something about how I'm dirtying the sheets or something like that.  So David walks in while we're doing somersaults and started laughing.  When David laughs, Alex starts to do his imitation of him by guffawing and snorting.  So, David laughs even harder and someone in the midst of all this laughing passed gas.

Alex suddenly stopped laughing and looked all serious.  I swear I thought he was going to start crying for some unknown reason.  But he turns to David and says, "Change diaper!  Change diaper!  Someone poopied! Bah, ha, ha, ha!" which sent David and I into fits of laughter.

It seems that the times that I get to enjoy my family or that we have moments like this are so far and few between.  I realize that they are so important to have and to remember.  I also realize how lucky I am.  There was a time not too long ago that I was dealing with infertility and I was angry and devastated.  But, here I am years later with 2 healthy and happy sons.  When the unimportant drama in life comes along - and most of it IS unimportant - it's important to remember what life is really like.

You're Sucking the Energy Outta Me, Man!

Yesterday I came home from a very exhausting day.  Dealing with disappointed VPs and upset co-workers aside, I got up early to go to the gym.  I was only there for 30 minutes and walking, walking on the treadmill and by 5:30 last night I was exhausted.  I ended up going to bed at 7:00 and missing a lot of good television.  All I can say is thank GOD for TiVo.  I am going to say that it was the mental stress that made me tired.

The co-worker who isn't upset with me filled me in on why one of our co-workers (let's call her CG) is upset with me.  Apparently CG was on this project - the copy and past project - for the past 8 months and she has been asking since day 1 to leave the project.  When upset co-worker (lets call him MN) and I showed up on the project she was hoping - ahem banking - on being able to leave.  But, since I have given notice she's thinking that she won't be able to roll off the project.

As far as the second upset co-worker is concerned, I have no idea what his deal is and I have no more energy to devote to guessing why that is - especially since I asked him point blank if we were "okay."  The one thing that I really enjoyed about consulting besides the fact that it was fast paced and it seemed to suit my hyper energy level was that you were exempt from the politics at the client.  And, because you weren't in the office you were pretty much exempt from the politics within your own company.  The 2 upset co-workers must have not gotten that memo.

Oh the Cattiness!

So today I gave notice at my current company where I worked for 13 days - or at least it will be 13 days by the time I leave.  Honestly, I'm not a flighty person; I just take my career very VERY seriously and was taught that it is nobody else's responsibility but my own to manage my career.  I learned that from Al, a manager I worked with while I was in Internal Audit and I haven't forgotten it since.

I spoke to one of the VPs at my current company - a VP because the company I work for now has about 50 employees - and the conversation did not go well.  She actually made me feel like I was 10 years old and that I was caught coming home late.  I've given notice to other employers before and it's always been a "it's about business it's not personal" so the response I received from the VP was shocking.

What was even more shocking was the response that I got from the people on my project team.  I told them about the conversation and apparently something I said when I recounted the conversation pissed them off although they didn't act like it in front of me.  Actually, I was getting a strange vibe from 2 of my 3 co-workers and I was correct that something was wrong.  The 3rd co-worker let me know that the other 2 were upset.

I don't beat around the bush so I asked one of the 2 if we were "okay" and she came back all smiles saying that everything was fine.  There is one thing that I absolutely hate and that is a liar and this co-worker was a liar.  I cannot understand why, if someone has an issue with what you said/did and is willing to go and call the VP I spoke to to cover her ass, that person wouldn't tell you that there was an issue.

So, what was it that I said?  I have no idea what made them so angry, but I think it may have to do with me questioning why we needed 4 people to copy and paste information from a report to a spreadsheet.  But, seriously I cannot understand why so many people are needed when I was able to complete my work and my co-worker's work (one of the 2 that are mad at me) in a matter of 2 days.  And trust me, the time lines are really long on this project too.  I suppose it has to do with the consultant concept of making your work seem important and maybe I wasn't sensitive to that.  But I cannot feel good about working on something where I'm bilking the client.

Where's Santa?

Today David and I took the boys to a nearby mall.  We didn't go to the mall to do any Christmas shopping.  On the contrary, we didn't spend more than $5.00 - the boys suddenly got hungry after our walk through the mall.  We went to the mall to let the boys run around and look at the pretty Christmas trees and I was hoping that we could find Santa.

We were walking from one end of the mall that had a Christmas tree to the other end of the mall where the other tree was and I realized that nowhere was there anything to do with Santa.  By this I mean that there were no signs anywhere advertising a visit to Santa.  It was really strange.  I'm not sure if this is the trend throughout all shopping malls.  I wonder if the reason that there was no Santa was because this particular mall wanted to make Christmas even more of a shopping holiday.

Could it be that there was no Santa because people who bring their kids to see Santa bring along their digital cameras and snap a picture thereby rendering the sale of photos of the kiddies and Santa unnecessary?  I remember being a child and being brought to the local Sears store where I would run and try to find Santa.  There was a story that my family loves to tell about the time I was 3 or 4 years old and we went to Woodfield Mall - a ginormous mall if you're not familiar.  I was able to read and followed the signs advertising a visit with Santa.  Apparently, I broke away from my family and made a bee line for Santa.

The line for Santa was ridiculous but it didn't stop me.  I cut in front of all those people in line (this part I do remember because I was taught to say "excuse me" and I thought that if I said "excuse me" then they HAD to let me through and the people in line actually did) who had at least a 45 minute wait ahead of them to get to Santa.  The rest of the story, which I cannot remember, is that I found my parents in that ridiculously huge mall and presented my father with a bill for the cost of the picture of me and Santa.  If my boys have any of my craziness in them then David and I are in HUGE trouble!

Up To My Elbows in Poop

The Thanksgiving holiday has been relaxing for the most part.  For the past couple of days Nick has had this strange bout of "the runs" and we can't figure out what it's from.  Initially I thought that he may have eaten something that didn't agree with him, but he really hasn't been eating - probably because his stomach feels "yucky" (his words, not mine).  Then I thought that maybe he had some stomach virus but he was able to keep crackers and cheese down.

A quick call to the pediatrician made it clear that it could be anything.  Yeah, completely NOT helpful but the doc on call made me feel better since he did say that there were lots of other kids that have the same thing.  But, I swear I have never changed so many poopy diapers in my life!  The important thing is that Nick's finally sleeping and he looks so comfortable.

On the upside, the Christmas tree is up and the lights are on the tree.  We turned on the lights the moment it got dark outside and the boys couldn't get enough of the pretty lights.  Last year when the boys were 2 and 1 years old, they didn't really get the concept of Christmas.  It probably didn't help that we didn't put up a tree.  This year, they seem to be getting into it and Nick helped me stamp snowflakes on the Christmas card envelopes.  I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year!

Things to Be Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving!!!  I may come off as a pessimist, but I'm not.  I'm probably not a complete optimist, but I really am a "glass is half full" kind of gal.  This year, I have bitched and moaned about everything and anything - more this year than any other, but I realize that I am very very lucky.  For starters, I am able to change jobs relatively quickly.

At the end of this month I will make my 3rd job change of the year.  It's not something that I'm proud of because it makes me look very fickle and I assure you that I am not.  I take my career very seriously - so much so that I am not willing to "stick it out for a year or two" in a job that I feel will not help me steer my career in the right direction.  For example, I am not going to be happy copying information from one report and pasting it into a spreadsheet no matter how much they pay me.  The thought of my brain shriveling to nothing for the all-mighty dollar does not appeal to me.  Enough said - I'm thankful for the fact that I am able to change jobs quickly (I'm thankful that my luck has not quite run out).

In the bigger scheme of things, I am thankful most of all for my family.  My husband, although I complain about him at times and life is not always sunshine and flowers, is an amazing guy.  When we first decided that he would stay home with the boys we weren't quite sure how we were going to do it.  We, or at least I, didn't know if we would be okay financially.  It's been almost 2 years since we became a single income family and we're okay.  It took a little time to adjust and things have changed.  We don't go on vacations or eat out a lot but we're financially solvent which is something that I am thankful for.

Plus, there are occasions such as Nick's preschool Thanksgiving skit that make me realize how lucky and thankful I am.  After this fall's preschool drama, I'm happy that we've found a preschool that fits Nick better.  I fully realize that finding this great preschool would not have been possible if we had not moved to the suburbs.  So, yeah - I guess you could say that I'm grateful that we moved to the suburbs (in some cases).

Nick loves his preschool and his teachers.  When I tell him that he has school the next day, his face lights up and he usually says, "I can't wait to go to college tomorrow and play!"  For those of you who are obsessed with counting the number of words your kid says, that's 10 - count 'em 10 words.

Nick participating in his preschool class Thanksgiving Skit ~ 11/21/2007

More from the Peanut Gallery

Before I officially begin today's post, I just want to say that sometimes the forth time is a charm and that there is no shame in backtracking and rethinking a decision that has been made.  Okay, so now on to the REAL post:

I came across a book called The Working Mother's Guide to Life by Linda Mason and also the How She Really Does It by Wendy Sachs and they both looked like books I would enjoy.  When David and I decided that I would be the one to return to work and would be responsible for financially supporting our family, I realized that it would mean that a lot of fun stuff would go by the wayside.

I was right - I don't get to read as much or at all and I rely on audible.com to help me out with my reading.  I used to think that books on tape were for "old" people - people who had a hard time reading print because their eyes get tired.  But, I've quickly changed my mind and now know that books on tape are great for commuters and busy people.  What I find so fascinating is that both of these books talk about time savers, but NEITHER book is offered on tape.

So, in order to learn how to accomplish all the things I need to with helpful shortcuts, I have to first find the time to sit down and read this book.  Seriously?  Who has the time!?!  I am considering writing the publisher(s) of both these books to talk to them about that.  I think it was probably just an oversight on their part or maybe a misstep in marketing?

It's Too Funny NOT to Laugh

Lately I've been receiving phone calls from someone - an old coworker - who is in the process of getting their H1 Visa.  I've heard it's a lot of work and documentation and it's a grueling process if you should happen to be sponsored by the company you're working for and then that company fires you or you switch jobs.  That being said, I am not insensitive to my old coworker's plight.  However, I am against falsifying information especially when it has to do with the federal government.  Seriously, I don't cheat on my taxes and my income tax returns are not rounded to the nearest dollar.

Today, I decided that I was tired to avoiding my old co-worker's phone calls.  And, yes I did explain to this person that I was not comfortable doing what this person wanted me to do but he still keeps calling trying to talk (nag) me into doing his bidding.  Someone once told me that if you hit *68 plus the person's phone number that when the person called you, their call would be instantly forwarded into voice mail.  It's an idea similar to identifying e-mail as SPAM.

Yeah - it doesn't work.  It in fact doesn't work so well that it's ridiculous.  What it does do is forward all of your calls that you don't answer to that person's phone number.  I didn't find out that this is what it did until several phone calls later - important phone calls later.  I was a bit panicked because I didn't know how to stop it and had to call the wireless phone company that I use (and that I love).

I can't say that it was a completely wasted lesson.  I will never, EVER try to avoid someone's phone call by doing something as silly as thinking I could "SPAM" someone's phone number.  After it was fixed, I took a deep breath and started laughing.  For a technology forward person, I am such an idiot sometimes!

Where Will You Be When You've Realized You've Had Enough?

Where was I when I realized that I'd had enough - that I was completely over myself and sick and tired of myself?  I was in the car on my way home from my nephew's birthday party yesterday.  My sister made the cutest party favors for the adults - they were CDs of my nephew's favorite music with a booklet of various things about my nephew.  It was ingenious; it was cute and it probably took forever to put together and assemble.

My sister is a terrific mother - that's her job.  On the way out the door to the cars, my brother in-law's aunt commented on how wonderful and creative the party favors were and then she said, "But, I know that runs in the family and you've done some wonderful and creative things too."  I smiled and said that she was kind, but that she was probably thinking of my sister in-law who does things like make her own greeting cards.  Really, I am creative but things like that take time and I don't have a lot of time.

But as we were driving away from the restaurant, I started feeling sorry for myself again.  I wished that I had more time and I wished that I were thinner and a better mother and nicer and just as I was about to spiral into a pity party I stopped.  Feeling sorry for yourself and wishing things were better or that you were a better "fill in the blank" gets you absolutely nowhere.  It was at that moment that I realized how sick of myself I was.  Yeah, yeah I can hear the "don't be so hard on yourself" talk which I appreciate but sooner or later the rubber hits the road and you just have to quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something.

So last night I decided that the pity party ends today (I gave myself an evening reprieve).  Today I quit feeling sorry for myself and start spending my energy on figuring out how to get what I want.  Easier said than done - because I know that there will probably be mini pity parties along the way - but yesterday was the last hoorah.

When You're Sick, Why Doesn't Everything Stop

I'm trying to teach my sons to be independent.  By this I mean, if there is something that they want at home they don't need to ask permission.  For example, if Nick is finished with his sippy cup of milk, I want him to get up and put it in the sink without calling me to do it for him.  It's odd I know but my sons like us (specifically me) to do these types of things for them.

These such tasks are important for them to do themselves especially when I'm under the weather.  The cold that started as sniffles has moved into my chest and now I have a dry wheezing cough.  This isn't good news since health insurance for my new company doesn't kick in until January 1st (the first day of the month after I've been there for 30 days).  I could go on about health care in this country, but I won't.  Suffice it to say that when I was younger I didn't care so much about health insurance and those were the days when all the jobs I had offered health insurance coverage the first day of work.  Now, when I need it to start the first day of work it doesn't.

It's been slow going - teaching the boys to be more self reliant with the housework.  Last night on my way to comfort a crying child (all the way hacking and coughing), I wondered what would happen in both David and I were sick.  It wouldn't matter because when you're sick everything just keeps going.  The boys still need parents to take care of them; diapers still need to be changed; and meals still need to be cooked.  There are some days when I have to stop and wonder why I didn't have babies when I was younger and had more energy.

The Nyquil Fog

I've been fighting a cold the past few days.  I'm congested and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton.  On the one hand, I can't hear so well so that when the boys are loud, I'm not annoyed.  But nobody likes being sick least of all me.

When I'm fighting a cold, the only thing that seems to help me get over it quickly is Nyquil because it just knocks me out and I can get some rest.  Even a coughing attack won't wake me up.  I remember when I had my first job out of college traveling all over the place, I would take some Nyquil if I couldn't sleep (usually on Tuesday nights) and it would knock me right out.  I'm sure that wasn't the intended use for the stuff, but ah well.

The funny - or not so funny - thing about Nyquil is that it affects your dreams.  I know that I'm not the only one affected because I've talked to other people and they say the same thing.  The dreams that you have on Nyquil are pretty strange and the longer you take it, the stranger your dreams become.

The first night I had a dream that I was at the Blogher conference and was talking to some of the bloggers that I had met (via e-mail) this past year.  The second night on Nyquil (last night), I dreamed that I was talking to Amy of Comments from the Peanut Gallery - actually, her daughter Livie.  The odd thing was that Livie was like 10 feet tall and I was as small as an ant.

My cold doesn't seem to be getting better, but I don't want to take any Nyquil again since I'm sure the recurring dream that I had in my childhood will probably resurface.  The recurring dream has to do with my father being a vampire and chasing me around - not something I care to dream about since I haven't had that particular dream in 15 years.

What It Really Means is Shut Up!

There have been a lot of changes in my life in the past 2 years and, before that lots of change with the kids.  Thankfully, I got a good year in 2006 with little to no changes.  Change is tiring and hard and stressful and nerve-racking.

All throughout my crabbing about this year, I've been told things like "Bloom where you're planted" and "Change takes time."  And, I've often told myself "It's not getting what you want; It's wanting what you've got."  All these things are very true but a lot of times they're said to shut up the person who's complaining and not to soothe the person.  Seriously, think about it.  If you were in a situation where you weren't happy, you try to fix it (at least I do).  But in the course of "fixing" it there are complaints because fixing is change and nobody likes to go through change when they're in a situation caused by change.

Yes, I complain when I'm in the throes of change - it's who I am and what I do.  But, all the while I am complaining, I'm planning and scheming and trying to figure out how to get out of this situation I'm in.  Or, at times, I'm trying to find the positive aspects of the situation I am in.  I recognize that I'm in a particular situation for a reason because I don't make decisions willy-nilly and even though the outcome is not what I expected, I know that there is something I can take away from it.

I really believe that if you're going to crab about something that you must do something to change your predicament.  You are not allowed to crab unless you plan to do something about it.  It goes hand in hand with my belief that you cannot complain about the current political situation is you do not vote.  Believe me, I am not ripping on the fact that people have been supportive because I really appreciate that.  Keep them coming because I really needed to be reminded to "bloom where (I'm) planted."  And to Mama Eye - thank you for being there for me this week.  Somehow it amazes me that we've come this far and have actually become adults (eeep!)

Jumble of Thoughts

Normally, my mind goes a mile a minute but lately it's been spinning faster than that.  I'm not so sure why this is happening but it is and the funny thing is that some of the thoughts that go through my head are pretty entertaining.

On working out, getting fat, etc:

If you want to look like this:

You cannot eat like this:

Otherwise, you will look like this:

On "cold and flu" season: How is it possible that David, Nick, Alex, and I keep sharing the same cold over and over again.  And, how is it possible that any of us will ever get rid of it?

On customer service: Why does it seem that customer service is my responsibility wherever I go?  By this I mean, my satisfaction as a customer seems to be be my responsibility and it always involves me making phone calls to make sure that the service people I hired (e.g., the people at the tire company, the cable company, etc.) do what they said they were going to do.

There are a zillion more that just entered my head as I was writing this.  I need to learn how to shut my mind off.

Is Everyone Having a Not So Great Day?

Before anyone is mislead by the title of this post, I had an okay day.  Not great but not terrible and I'm okay with that.  It just seems that the few friends that I spoke to today were all having bad days.  One of my very good friends, who is truly amazing, called me in tears.  Her tears were not unlike the tears a lot of us cry at one point in time.  She was tired and just "fed up"; the responsibilities of having a job, being an adult, and going to school were just wearing on her.

My other friend has been looking for a new job and just when she thought she had made the right decision, there were red flags that made her reconsider her decision.  I can honestly say that I know how she feels - I've been in her shoes more than once.  Another friend is feeling overwhelmed and as I heard his story I couldn't help but think that maybe today was just a bad day.

Maybe Saturn is in retrograde somewhere causing whatever it causes.  Seriously, it's hard being an adult; it's like a lot of things where we rush through it and say that we can't wait until (fill in the blank).  But, when we get to wherever it is we can't wait to get to we realize that "it" wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.  I suppose a lot of us need to learn to be content with what we have.  There's a line from a Sheryl Crow song that goes, "It's not having what you want; It's wanting what you've got."  Boy, ain't that the truth!?!

It's Fine, Everyone is . . . NICE

I don't usually like to post about work, but the last post I wrote generated a lot of e-mail - not necessarily comments - wishing me luck on my first day at the new job.  It was a long day only because there was so much information to absorb and I'm out of practice being around people all day.  Remember, I spent most of my days at my last job in an office by myself.  Yes, there were other people who rented office space in the building but they were working.  I will miss some of those people that I met at the office building especially the office manager, Catherine, who was awesome!

But today was my first day at my new job and came home to a lot of e-mail asking me how it went.  I also spent the commute home talking to a couple of friends and family members about my first day.  I think people just know that the changing of jobs is tiring me out.  Before I talk about my first day I want t say thank you to all of those of you who commented or e-mailed me and wished me luck.  I appreciate that happy thoughts that you all have sent my way.

The jury is still out on this new job mainly because I haven't really done any work (I start a project tomorrow).  But the jury is also still out because I've changed jobs enough to know that the first day, be it a good day or a bad day, is not an indication of how the job will go.  What I can say is that everyone that I met at the company (administrative assistants, VPs, fellow consultants, etc.) were extremely NICE.  Seriously, "nice" is the only way to put it.  I've learned to trust my gut reaction and I left at the end of the day feeling pretty good.

I think that there is a lot that this new company can offer me - at least from what I was told during the day.  I'm feeling pretty good about this decision to take this job but I've been in this position before.  I've also been in the position of totally regretting my decision after the first day (unfortunately, I was usually right about the bad feeling).  We'll see - I'm optimistic.  If anything I'm optimistic.

Ridiculously Stressed Out

Tomorrow is the first day of my new job and my stomach is just churning, churning.  After a summer of working like a fiend for a couple of days and then sitting and doing nothing for weeks, I'm going to be working consistently.  Plus, I'm going back into consulting but a different kind of consulting.  I won't be doing the ERP consulting that I've been doing for the past 7 years but I will be doing something that I know I can do.  It's still a little nerve racking.

This weekend I haven't been able to think about anything but the new job and unfortunately that's what spoiled this weekend for me - and unfortunately it affected my family.  I have that "mother's vein" that sticks out of my forehead when I get upset, which is a pretty freaky thing.  David and I went to the Mars Cheese Castle (don't laugh) with the boys this weekend and Nick was starting to touch things that he shouldn't.  It's to be expected, he's a 3 year old.  But, I was tired and annoyed and gritted my teeth and said, "Nick, STOP IT!"  The guy in line behind me suddenly stood up straighter.

The guy behind me said, "For a moment there, I thought my mother was here."  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing but I guess I've inherited that "mom" quality whatever that is.  And today, I spent the day doing laundry - dying faded black sweaters and faded black slacks along with washing sheets and folding mounds of laundry.  I thought that cleaning would help me relax and keep my mind off of things, but it hasn't.  I'm tired of these wasted weekends and I need to concentrate on enjoying them more.

Trying to Go with the Flow

Yesterday was my last day at my current company.  One would think that I would become immune to changing jobs because I do it so often (3 times this year), but one would be wrong.  Change isn't easy for anyone and it isn't easy for me.  I like the familiar, although maybe I have less of a tolerance for the "same ole same ole" as other people do.  But, I do like having somewhat of a routine and knowing what is expected of me.

My new company is excited to have me there and that's a good thing because it's always nice to be wanted.  I remember when I accepted the job offer verbally, the recruiter was genuinely excited.  I spoke to the HR person at the new company today and she reiterated how excited they were to have me.  We talked about what I needed to bring and she gave me a quick rundown on what orientation would be like.  Then, she told me that I would not be issued a lap top and my stomach did a little flip.

In the whole scheme of things, is it important that I have a lap top assigned to me?  Well, I guess not but it did seem a little strange.  The last time I was told that I was going to be a consultant and wasn't issued a lap top was in 1999 when I decided that I didn't want to build a career in accounting.  I didn't want to grow up to be a CFO or Controller and I just quit my job.  Okay, I didn't just quit - I found a job at a company where the recruiter said that I would be a consultant.  In the end, I was a very well paid temp - think Bob at Account Temps.  At 28 with a solid resume it was a hard concept to swallow; I was taught that you get your accounting degree, your CPA, and your career goes from there.  You don't, at 28, throw it away to be Bob at Account Temps.

I really thought I was going to be a consultant - not an accounting temp.  In the end, the move served me well because I ended up getting hired by the company that I was placed at.  It took leaving my faux consulting job for what my co-workers at the faux consulting company liked to call a "real" job before the company that I was placed at realized that I could actually do more than make copies.  But still, working at the faux consulting company afforded me the opportunity to take a breath and decide that I wanted to get a master's degree.  It also afforded me the time to begin going to classes, something my "real" job that I left abruptly before did not afford me.

So, the not being assigned a lap top?  It reminded me of the time that I started working at the faux consulting company and even though I'm being paid well and have benefits at my new company I still have that lurching feeling.  I am still wondering, "what the hell have I done to my career?"  I can't help it - it's how I'm wired because at 36 you don't get an accounting degree, CPA, masters degree and throw it all away.  Does being issued a lap top make my job justifiable or important?  No it doesn't.  It's all in my head, I know.  I am sure that if I take a wait and see attitude, that will make all the difference in the world.  I just need to get over my initial "knee-jerk" reaction - my stupid, irrational knee-jerk reaction.

These Are a Few of the Most Irritating Things

Since when did the song, "These are a Few of My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music become a Christmas song?  Although I hate when stores have Christmas items up for sale before Thanksgiving, I don't mind the Christmas music being played early.  I know I wrote about that somewhere; I think it's a topic of mine every year around this time.

I usually do my on line reading - blogs, entertainment rags, and whatnot - after the boys are in bed or during lunchtime at work.  Lately, there seems to be a lot of Rosie O'Donnell news going around or maybe it's just that it's always been there and I'm just noticing it.  I used to love Rosie O'Donnell when she had her own talk show but after she left, any time I saw her she seemed to be so angry.  I can appreciate being angry but in recent years she seems angry AND mean which I don't appreciate.  I'm kind of tired of her and every time there's an article on her, I just skip it.  Along with freedom of speech, thankfully, comes the freedom to decide what to read and what not to.

Yesterday I wrote about a pilates class.  I started wondering if having 2 babies back to back and not watching what you ate after you had them and thereby causing a stomach roll and flap, made you an unlikely candidate to do pilates.  After all, it is hard to roll into a ball and hug your knees to your chest when the abdominal roll that one has acquired is in the way.  I wonder: can fat people do pilates or do they have to wait until some of the flab has gone away?  The fat around my middle - so irritating!

And, here is possibly the most irritating thing I've noticed.  Lately, David has taken to following me around the house.  I'm not exactly sure why this is happening, but it is.  I'd love to think that it was because my husband missed me or found me the most exciting and fascinating person alive.  But, I suspect it's because he's wondering what exactly I'm doing.  He stands over me as I'm sorting the mail but doesn't actually ask, "So, whatcha doing?"  Instead, he's a quiet presence just lingering.  His behavior is funny, but it is also so irritating!

Adjusting, Slowly

I know that I said that I wasn't adjusting well to the move, and I'm not - at least I don't think I'm adjusting well.  But in the spirit of "blooming where I'm planted" I decided that I would try to do more things close to home like going to the gym.  So, I ended my gym membership at the gym in the city that I love but never go to.  It was hard to justify the money spent monthly when I only went once or twice a month.

The new "fitness center" run by the suburb that David and I joined was a hell of a lot cheaper than the swanky gym in the city.  So much so that we were able to pay for the entire year for as much as 2 months membership at the swanky gym.  I signed up for a beginning pilates block of classes at the fitness center and yesterday was my first class.  I had taken pilates classes before but it was a year ago and what seems like 20 pounds ago and I didn't feel comfortable strolling into the regular classes.

There were some things that I liked about the class like the instructor was really nice and the class went at a nice, slow pace.  Then there were some things that I didn't really like such as the fact that it was held in a room with the lights dimmed (maybe that's a good thing) so I could really see what she was doing.  I left standing taller - a wonderful secondary effect of pilates - but I also wondered if I could make it back down to the city to take classes at the pilates place I used to go.  I'm sure it will take a little bit of adjusting on my part.  We'll see.