There are some things going on with work that will probably impact me. Good or bad, whatever the outcome, I have to believe that whatever happens is not my fault and is probably political in nature. I'm thinking that if I don't acknowledge it, then it won't be real - the "ignore it and it will go away" approach. Not the best approach, but probably the best in this case.
I spoke with the CIO of the client and she and I have always gotten along. She gave me some advice that didn't make sense until this week. She told me that when things go awry it's important to ask yourself if (1) the situation is turning you into someone you don't like and/or (2) will it all be worth it if you stick it out. And the answers to these questions for me are (1) No - I hate who I am turning into and (2) No - it probably won't be worth it although I can be convinced otherwise.
The thing about tough times is that you always come out the other end (if you've survived) a changed - and hopefully better - person. But I also believe that if you don't learn the lesson you were supposed to the first time, you usually get the lesson all over again meaning that if you quit and run away before the lesson is learned, chances are that you will be put in the same situation over again. In my case, I think it really boils down to self-respect and I have learned that I really don't have as much as I should.
Until now. Today I feel like I've made progress on gaining some self-respect and the willingness to stand up for myself instead of just sitting there and taking it or - worse - running away. I can honestly say that the issues I've had at work I've faced head on. But now it seems that the outcome may be out of my control and in the hands of those who are playing a political game. So be it - at least I didn't run away.
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