After a conversation with the "Weenie" and then talking to someone on the project team on the client side, I realized that the lesson I needed to (re)learn was one of self respect. It dawned on me on my walk to the parking lot that self respect is not something that I have in spades. Regardless if the "Weenie" who has all the control (what with being the client) cannot or will not take a stand and talk to my nemisis consultant who has become the project manager, I need to stand up for myself.
It's likely that my firm may pull me off of this project because the other consultant (who has now become the project manager) cannot seem to treat me with the common courtesy and level of respect that you would extend to the average human being. I am lucky that my company doesn't treat its employees like common cattle. If I do continue on this project, it will be my choice and I know now that the self respect that I finally remembered I had, will cause me to push back on being treated like dirt.
I was brought up in a family where a strong work ethic was and is something that is valued. The thought that if you worked hard enough, you could accomplish anything. A good work ethic is a great thing to have and so is pride in the work that you do. But, if you combine that with the belief that you're worth less than the average person and that you must constantly earn respect, then you get someone like me. Someone who blames themselves for things that may not necessarily be within their control.
I don't mind working hard; actually I enjoy it. But, people tend to exploit that. I've been pretty lucky and it's only been a handful of very selfish people who have taken advantage of that fact. I think it's high time that I put my money where my mouth is. I've always said that you should have the courage of your convictions and that you should always stand up for yourself. Normally I do, but for some reason I seemed to forget how to do that lately.
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