I'm sure you've heard it growing up and it was ridiculously prevalent at school. The thought, "what will people think" plays a prominent role in almost every teenager's life. It's like the moment you hit puberty or at least become aware of what people think of you (the court of public opinion), that sentence plays in your head over and over. "What will people think?"
And, if you grow wiser as you grow older you realize that it doesn't matter what people think. In my case, I was in my 20s when I learned that it didn't really matter to me what people thought - well, at least it didn't matter as much. I don't think it was so much that I grew wiser, but more tired. What with all the extra responsibility a full time job held and the rigors of everyday life not to mention the weekends with my friends, I was just too exhausted to really pay attention to what people thought of me. Besides, by the time I was in my late 20s I had really gotten to know myself and like myself.
Then I had children and for whatever reason that made me start to care again what people thought. Because what people thought could affect whether or not I had a job and was able to take care of my family financially. What people thought made me *think* I was a good or bad parent and what people thought could hurt my family. All of a sudden, I didn't really like who I was based on what people thought. Ridiculous? Yes and no.
Public opinion is important to some extent. Like it or not, how people judge us affects the way that they treat us. This became perfectly clear when I was dealing with Nick's first preschool - and I don't think we'll be returning for kindergarten or grade school to that place any time soon. People will judge and that's a fact of life; you don't have to like it but you do have to deal with it. I would love to say that I don't care what people think, but to some extent I do - all of us do because if we didn't then we'd probably all run around without our clothes on.
But, make no mistake about it. To do things based solely on how people will react or judge you is wrong. It should be about doing what is right. Not always a popular and easy choice.
What an eloquent post!
I've tried to put these sentiments into words that made sense and didn't repeat endlessly. No success so far.
I often get skeptical when people say they don't care what others think. I think I know what they are inferring, because are they truly saying that they don't care what their loved ones, clients, bosses, fans or whoever pays them, absolutely nobody, none of these people think? Some might say "Nope, don't care even about those."
Others who utter that statement are inferring that they don't care what strangers think, what haters think, or what non-loved ones think.
I agree that some (small, tiny, wee) level of caring about what people think is part of living in society, but that this should be placed into perspective.
And I don't care if you like my feedback or not! :)
Posted by: lcmotorist | February 05, 2008 at 09:18 PM