Lately I have spent a lot - and I mean A LOT of time with my family. I love my husband and boys dearly but, honestly, they are making me
C - R - A - Z - Y! It's almost like a smothering feeling that supersedes even the worst asthma attack I've ever had. In saying this, I cannot help but feel like a terrible mother; what mother wouldn't WANT to spend time with their kids.
The older child was sick for a couple of weeks, then I was sick (and on the bench) and was at home for 2 weeks straight. Plus, there was the move and all of that has made him whiny and clingy. To top it off, his schedule for school has been thrown off and now he cries when he knows it's time for school. Children are a mystery to me because this is the same boy who would get all excited upon hearing that he was getting dressed for school.
I suppose it is all a balancing act - trying to be a good parent but managing to keep your identity; loving your children properly but recognizing that you're human and that they'll occasionally get on your nerves. I seriously think I told David that the oldest one was, "tap-dancing on my last nerve." And, I am sure that I did more than my fair share of yelling (I'm a yeller - what can I say). It doesn't help that lately we've been spending the majority of our time together in the same house with moving boxes taking up A LOT of space.
The thing that makes me feel guiltier than guilty is that come this morning, I was happy to go to work and get away from the boys (and man) in my life. David and I have been getting on each other's nerves too. So much so that if I hear one more thing about how we should load the forks and spoons in the dishwasher tine and bowl side up I am going to lose it completely!
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