Chicago Chick

Life's Been Good To Me So Far

Lately things have been going well - the boys and the hubby are healthy and happy and work has been going well too.  I enjoy the client I'm working for and the work that I do is challenging; best of all there is no drama and nobody is making me feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.  I've been going to the gym regularly and am starting to feel much better.  In fact, the mountainous set of stairs from Union Station to Madison Street is something that I can tackle without feeling winded.  Amazing.

So, of course, I am worried wondering, "Is this the calm before the storm?.  I don't think it is in my nature to be happy or maybe it's just not human nature, in general, to be happy.  I was listening to the radio and there was a statistic that was read where 43% of Americans felt that they were thriving and 51% felt that they were either not thriving or suffering.  Yes, I realize that the total does not equal to 100% but that is beside the point.  The point is that more than half of Americans aren't happy.

Could it just be our pessimistic nature or maybe we're just afraid to be happy.  When I heard that statistic, I had to ask myself where I fell - was I one of the 43% or one of the 51%?  And, although I had a cold today and wasn't feeling my best (a 102 degree fever will do that to you on even your best days), I had to say that I would consider myself one of the lucky "thriving" ones.

Sure, things could be better.  I could make more money; my oldest son could be a genius; I could be thinner, beautiful, or whatever.  But, overall I would have to quote Joe Walsh and say that life's been good to me so far.  We have 2 healthy and cute toddler boys and a job that has benefits and pays enough to allow one of us to stay at home.  David and I are in both relatively good health and both sets of parents are still with us (even with the nagging it's a blessing).

There are so many things that I could dwell on that could be better, but I'm thinking that would be a waste of time.  I am fortunate to have what I have and I know that.  But, I'm left wondering if saying that I'm thriving out loud will jinx it all.  I think I say it with my fingers crossed and hope that if/when the not so great stuff comes along, it won't be anything that I cannot handle.

High Hopes

It's just before bedtime on Sunday and my "To Do" list isn't finished.  It's actually not a big surprise because there were some big ticket items on there like the closet stuff.  I didn't finish all the laundry but I did end up doing 5 loads (washed, dried, folded, and put away) today.  There are 3 loads left to do but I know that I'm not going to end up finishing it today.

The weekend wasn't a waste because even though I didn't finish everything on my "To Do" list, we picked up paint for the boys' room; visited one of our favorite stores, American Science and Surplus; had lunch at Superdawg; and went to the park.

We went to the park to fly a kite and play in the playground.  I'm surprised that either boy had any energy since we went right after Nick's make up swim class.  They boys even took a descent nap although they just woke up a few minutes ago and will probably not go back to bed any time soon.

So what else did I get done on my "To Do" list?

• Take apart the crib in the guest room
• Make a coat closet out of the closet in the basement
• Put away the coat boxes in the boys' room
• Pick up the master bedroom
• Do the laundry (wash, fold, put away) - we have a nasty habit of not folding and putting them away I think 5 out of 8 loads complete is cause to cross this off my list.
• Clean off the kitchen island
• Clear out any empty boxes in our living room
• Get the boys' hair cut

In the end, it was a nice and productive weekend!

Things That Would Make My Weekend

I've been thinking of the things that are on my "To Do" list and they seem to be the same things over and over.  Unpacking from our move 2 months ago is high on my list of things to do and even though I started off strong, I seem to be slacking lately.  The living room/dining room/kitchen is painted thanks in huge part to David.  Today I spent a lot of time cleaning and putting light switch plates back in place.  I vacuumed and now the living room/dining room/kitchen looks so much better, but still there are a lot of things that need to be done.

If I can get the following things done this weekend, I will feel so much better:

• Take apart the crib in the guest room
• Make a coat closet out of the closet in the basement
• Put away the coat boxes in the boys' room
• Pick up the master bedroom
• Do the laundry (wash, fold, put away) - we have a nasty habit of not folding and putting them away
• Clean off the kitchen island
• Clear out any empty boxes in our living room
• Get the boys' hair cut

It sounds like a lot, doesn't it?  The closet items are a bit ambitious and I'm thinking that they probably won't get done, but I think it helps to aim high.  I'd also like David to start priming the walls in the boys' room, but I don't think that is really realistic.

Getting Back on the Treadmill is NOT So Easy

I've been really good with making it to the gym since I've joined a group of women who meet to walk on treadmills 3 times a week.  And, I've met with a nutritionist who told me to (big surprise) write down what I eat and to eat small meals every 3 to 4 hours a day.

So far I have lost bubkus, zero, zilch, nada - but I didn't expect to lose any weight.  Instead, I was hoping that the past 2 weeks (now starting the official 2 weeks) would bring more discipline to my schedule.  And, it has.

David has been wonderful about hanging out with the boys until I get back from the gym and he has been supportive about my 5:00 am personal training session once a week.  I am starting to feel a little pressure in that if I don't lose any weight, it will be all for nothing.  I'd say that in itself is pretty good motivation to keep going.

This past weekend I ran into one of my former co-workers and friend, Mama Eye, and after 15 years and a baby she still looks terrific.  Seriously, Mama Eye - you do.  And, she was nice enough to tell me that I just looked a little pudgy which is ridiculous because in the past 15 years, I have become F-A-T.  It is my own doing - I haven't taken care of myself and I haven't eaten right and as a parent I need to be better at that because kids learn from watching and not necessarily from nagging.  But, my Mama Eye, she's so sweet that she didn't point this out - thank you for that.

Getting back on the treadmill has not been so easy for me and even though the scales don't show a dramatic weight loss, I realize that this will take time.  In the end, getting back on the treadmill isn't about losing weight anymore, but it is about making a change in the way that I live the rest of my life.

I Love You But You're Making Me Crazy

I love my boys (that includes my husband) dearly, but they make me crazy.  The 3 year old whines like a little girl and the 2 year old likes to crash his body into things.  They've taken to torturing the cat and even after a light paddle on the butt (administered by my husband), the 3 year old will start pulling on the cat's tail 15 minutes later.

I actually have a headache - the first in a long LONG time - and I feel as though I'm getting facial wrinkles from contorting my face in anger.  I am tired of saying over and over, "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!!!  What did I say?  I said STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!"  This is not the way I want to spend my weekends.

I don't want to spend my weekends unpacking anymore (yeah, still not done); I don't want to spend my weekends cleaning up spills; and I don't want to spend my weekends waiting for my husband to be finished painting.  Yes, I realize that I'm bellyaching.  If I didn't want to spend my time doing these things then I suppose I shouldn't have had children or I shouldn't have bought a house or I shouldn't have done something else.

I know that people will say that, "it could always be worse" or that "other people have it worse than I do, but frankly I don't care.  Seriously, why do people say those things - it only makes you feel worse (the guilt) and it doesn't fix anything.  Ugh!  Where is that proverbial Easy Button when you need it!?!

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Our 3 year old has been attending swim classes at our gym for the past month and I think he really enjoys it.  There's free swim after the classes and David is often hard pressed to get our baby to leave the pool.  It's even more difficult getting him out of the car when David pulls into the driveway.

There must be something about the open road, cars, and toddlers - especially boy toddlers.  My friend, N, has a son the same age as our 3 year old and he loves to sit in the driveway in the car and pretend to drive.  I have heard stories about N sitting in the car with him for hours.

Right now I'm sitting on our patio in the back yard watching my son sit in the driver's seat of the car pretending to drive off to who knows where.  There have also been a few moments when the horn has accidentally (or not accidentally) honked.

In a few moments I will have to call everyone inside to lunch and there will be much screaming and carrying on about how Nick would rather sleep in the car.  And, I may just give in and bring his chicken nuggets and tater tots to him so that he can eat inside the car.  I realize that it may not be the best solution, but I'm thinking that life is short and why should I rob him from his good time of eating in the driveway in a parked car.

I say that now, but I know in a couple of days I will be posting about how I am sick of feeding my kid in the car while it is sitting in the driveway.  But, for now - it's all good.

Victim of a Drive THRU

The past 2 weeks, I've been trying to exercise and eat better on a regular basis and I've been doing okay.  I don't think I've lost any weight and I'm feeling pretty tired, but I know that it takes awhile before all the good stuff kicks in.  This past weekend, David took our 3 year old to his toddler swim class and they ended up staying for the free swim afterward.

When David got home, he said that he felt completely out of shape and looking around the pool where all the "pretty people" seem to hang out on the weekends.  "I'm tired of feeling like the victim of a drive thru," was the next thing he said to me which caused me to nearly choke on my drink.

In Chicago - like any big city - there is violence in some areas and there are gangs and drive BY shootings.  Just for the record, I've never lived in those areas (luckily) and not all of the city of Chicago is like that.  Little idyllic towns and suburbs have violence and the occasional "drive by".  Still, what David said wasn't lost on me.  I didn't get in the state that I am in because of one chocolate bar or a couple of trips through the nearest drive thru.

However, I don't feel like a victim because I chose to go through the drive thru (BTW - it should be THROUGH) and I chose to stuff myself with crap and not exercise.  I realize that the state that I am in is because of choices I made over the years and I also realize that I'm not going to get healthy overnight.  So, back to the gym for me.

New and Exciting

I love to jump into things with both feet.  Actually, it's more like feet and a hand and possibly an arm or two.  I can't help it - it's how I'm wired.  I get very excited and get into things so quickly and some thing stick while others don't; I'm a "joiner" what can I say?  I am forever taking classes to amuse myself. 

There were a couple of years of pottery classes, a year of yoga and pilates classes, 2 sessions of the Beginners Running Program with Chicago Area Runner's Association, a stained glass class, and even some onesey-twosey art classes.  I would have continued the CARA classes, but this summer we were so preoccupied with moving that it was one of the things that fell by the wayside.  Hmmm - I wonder how long I can use that excuse for things not getting done.

The one hobby that stuck and became part of who I am was my photography classes.  I don't have much time - haven't had much time - for it since the boys came.  But there was a time where I had my own darkroom and I still own several film cameras.  I'm not a digital photography kinda gal and instead would rather develop and print my own black and white prints.  The plan is to set up my darkroom in the basement this summer provided that we can get through the crap in boxes. 

I'm not sure why the photography stuck, but I think a lot of it had to do with the community that photography classes provided.  I'm much better at sticking to something if there is a community or group feel around it.  Case in point - the class at the gym I signed up for.  In typical fashion, I found a class where if I don't show up to work out people wonder where I am.  It's nice and I've (in typical Irene fashion) already gotten excited about the 12 weeks ahead.

I'm hoping that my new excitement to get healthy and in shape sticks.  I could really use a group of people to work out with.  And to my friend Julie, who I ran with during those 2 summers with CARA, I am sure you're running a 5K in less than 30 minutes by now!

Heart Tests

This morning, I went to the gym to get a test that will tell me what my heart rate ranges are.  After taking the test - at 5:00 am and after getting little to no sleep - I got my results.  when you plug the numbers into the standard calculation, it turns out that the heart rate zones I burn fat at is equivalent to someone who is 55 years old.  Yeah.  Right.

I read and reread what the results where and I just couldn't believe it.  So, to test the results, I wore my heart rate monitor all day today and it turns out that if those numbers are right then I should be a twig because I function at what is called zone 2.  Zone 2 is where I, according to the results, burn the most fat calories per minute.  People, I LIVE my life in Zone 2 - or at least I do according to my heart rate monitor.

Am I saying that taking a gym-administered heart rate/health test is a lot of hooey and shouldn't be listened to?  No, I'm not saying that.  On the contrary, I think that taking the test is valuable but I think that you need to treat it as you would any other test administered by a gym or even by your doctor.  If you don't understand what your test results mean, then you need to ASK.  And, if you don't think that your results are correct then you should get a second opinion.

In this case, the second opinion was using my heart rate monitor to test the results.  It turns out that because I have asthma and didn't take my inhaler, my results probably weren't correct.   I am sure that when I retest, the results will be different.  Not necessarily better, but different.

What the Freak Happened to My Jeans?!?

I am was a rabid Levi's fan; they were the only brand of jeans (except for the brief Guess jeans period during high school) that I really ever wore.  Lately I've noticed that I've needed to buy jeans more frequently because they seem to wear down quicker.  Originally I thought that maybe I was washing them too often or that it was due to all the moving, packing, and rubbing up against boxes.

I changed my mind once I purchased a couple of new pairs online and received them a week or so ago.  The Levi's that I purchased were thin - almost as thin as a T-shirt.  I was shocked and disappointed and went to the Levi's site to see if maybe I had made some mistake and to look up the details of the stuff I ordered.  I found that ALL their jeans seem to be made outside of the USA.

After doing a search online for jeans made in the USA, I came across Lucky Brand Jeans.  I've known about Lucky jeans but thought that they were way too expensive - I am not in the habit of buying $75.00 jeans.  But, after receiving my $50.00 Levis jeans I realized that paying an extra 25 shekels for jeans that will actually feel thicker than bed sheets may be a good idea. 

I wasn't disappointed - the Lucky Brand Jeans that I purchased are well made and actually feel like jeans used to feel like.  It's sad that things that used to be made in the United States are being sent off shore to be made and that the quality of the brands - like Levi's - are suffering. 

I've Been to the Gym and I'll I Got Was Swollen Ankles

This week has gone by way too quickly.  The new project I am on has kept me hopping - a very good thing - and I've been really good this week about going to the gym.  I've worked out every day this week except for Tuesday and I have plans to be at the gym tomorrow evening.  I'm tired, but in a good way and I'm pretty proud of myself.

I have no idea if I've gained or lost any weight.  But, besides being tired one of the things that I'm NOT loving is the fact that my ankles seem to be swelling.  This happens when I start working out after not going to the gym for a while.  It goes away, but having cankles (where your calves and ankles fuse into one mass) is not my idea of a good exercise outcome.  It lasts about a week or so and it's annoying.

Cankles aside, I'm hoping that I can keep the gym thing up.  It would be nice to be able to participate in classes like step or spinning and it would be nice to not be winded as I run up and down the stairs.

Dissheveled

This past weekend I didn't think about work once - okay, so that's a lie.  I thought about it and wrote a new co-worker's resume, but that was the extent of it.  I didn't worry about what was coming my way on Monday (today) and as a result, felt completely disheveled as I was running for the train.  I swear, my Mondays lately have become like one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day.

It's one thing to watch the movie, which is very funny, but a completely different thing to live the movie.  The later is not something that is as fun - trust me.  I made it to the train with little to no issues, but once on the train I spent a good 10 minutes digging through my lap top bag looking for my iPod - the older version and not the snappy one shown in the link.  I gave up and then spent the next 10 minutes digging around for my monthly pass.  The nice person next to me took pity on me and offered to hold my coffee.

When I got to work, I felt exhausted and completely out of sorts.  My hair was limp and messy and I was completely out of breath.  Luckily, the rest of the day went well but I still could not overcome the feeling of being a complete mess.  After work, I went to the gym and sitting here now I realize that I still have not recovered from my day.  I'm out of breath but not because of the time spent at the gym, but because when I think that I have to do all this tomorrow, it takes my breath away.

Wasabi on the Walls

I had grand plans for this weekend, but as usual the thing on my to do list didn't all get done.  I'm sure it's a function of what was on my "To Do List" and not that I (or my husband) was a slacker.  The thing with lists is that they don't account for things that could and do happen.

Although my list for this weekend included getting a majority of the living room/kitchen painting complete, it did not include my 3 year old touching a scorching 300 watt light bulb that was being used to light the area being painted.  David and I are both beside ourselves with guilt so before anybody calls DCFS, I cannot imagine that a federal agency could make us feel worse than we already do.  It was one of those moments when the pain of hearing your child cry for an hour makes you feel like an incompetent and undeserving parent.  Just writing about it now - nearly 12 hours later - brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.

Our 3 year old is fine now and the only reminder of the incident is a blister on his right hand and a lesson learned NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING HOT OR ANYTHING THAT MOM AND DAD SAID NOT TO TOUCH.  Unfortunately, the 2 year old hasn't seemed to learn the same lesson as he is still mesmerized by the painting lamp (now put high on a shelf where even I cannot get to it).  The 3 year old is sleeping comfortably with the aid of lots of milkshakes, cookies, and anything else he wanted.  It's amazing what parental guilt will make you give into when your child is crying.

Alas, the walls are not completely finished.  There are 2 walls that are half covered with the paint color we selected - Wasabi - a greenish yellowish color that looks pretty good on the walls despite what the color sample looks like on line.  Actually, it looks exactly like the color of wasabi.  It's been a challenging weekend but I'm ready for the coming week and looking forward to next weekend where it will NOT include any painting or unpacking - "To Do Lists" be damned!

Why The Suburbs Aren't Always Better

I think my feelings about moving to the suburbs are pretty well documented in my blog.  I wasn't happy to leave the city - the place where I grew up - for the suburbs - a place where I spent 4 years of my life during high school.  In recent months I have started to change my mind about the suburbs and I really started to like living out here.  Truth be told, it really isn't that far from the city (5 minutes) and I like the preschool that our 3 year old attends.

Today, I started a backward slide towards my feeling about the suburbs.  It started at 3:00 this morning when the neighbor's dogs (3 very LARGE dogs) started barking and barking and barking.  It's not something that's new and the buster has called the police on more than one occasion.  This morning, it bugged me that the barking woke me up especially since I haven't been sleeping well lately.  Then there is the family who live kitty-corner from us who have a pit bull and don't put the animal on a leash.

This afternoon, we took the boys for a car ride and came back to the neighbors burning garbage in their backyard.  It wasn't just the burning of the garbage that bugged me, it was the fact that they were burning it so close to our wooden fence; the ashes were wafting into our yard and landing on my cloth convertible top; and the open flames were high enough that they were probably melting the power lines that they decided to burn their crap directly under.  Suddenly, my head just started to pound and I felt sick.

We have moved to the suburbs to get away from the neighbors who let their dogs poop in our front yard and kids who were rowdy.  Actually, that is why David wanted to buy a house in the suburbs.  Personally, I didn't notice the dog poop - I would see people pick up after their animals - and rowdy kids riding their bicycles up and down the street made me think of my happy Chicago childhood.  When I saw the large, open flame in our neighbor's back yard and smelled the melting plastic smell, I just lost it and I called the police.

My blood started boiling when the police officer showed up and stopped by the neighbor's house and DID NOTHING!!!!  I spoke to the officer and it is legal for the neighbor to burn the garbage in the backyard.  It's legal as long as it's in a fire pit and it's covered (which it wasn't when he began but was when the police showed up.  Seriously, if David insists on staying in the 'burbs we are moving to another suburb where people frown on burning garbage in their back yards.

Wherever You Go. . . There You Are

I was talking (okay IMing) a coworker yesterday as I was having my unhappy worry attack and I told her that I was seriously thinking of running away.  No, I wasn't seriously, SERIOUSLY thinking of running away but as a parent of 2 small toddlers who works outside the home you know what I mean.  My co-worker said something funny - it was said as a joke, so please do not e-mail me and tell me how horrible she is or I am.  She said that the mothers who were on the side of the milk cartons listed as missing were really not ALL missing.  Instead, some of them probably were exhausted and ran away.

I started to think about what it would be like to "run away" and realized that a lot of times it isn't the circumstances or the people in my life that I would like to run away from.  In reality, the thing that I would like to run away from is me - my life, my views on things.  But, as they say (whoever "they" is) - no matter where you go, there you are.  There really is no escaping yourself or hiding from yourself.  Knowing this then, wouldn't it make sense just to make peace with yourself?

I am sure that making peace with yourself would be the answer to "running away" but I think it's easier said than done.  I have no idea how one could even begin to do this.  Besides, if I did make peace with myself, what would I possibly write about in my blog.

Days Like These

Yesterday was a tough day, but I managed to get through it and keep a positive attitude.  Today, however, I feel as though I failed to keep my poop in order.  Early this morning the littlest one woke up vomiting and neither David or I could figure out what was going on.  He didn't have a fever and wasn't coughing or acting "sick" the day before so we packed up everyone and headed to the Emergency Room.  When I say everyone, I mean everyone because you cannot leave a 3 year old at home alone while you and your husband take the 2 year old to the hospital.  Turns out it was something he ate (a toy to be exact which came out - thankfully - when they pumped his stomach) - but I ended up calling in sick to work today.

I hate calling in sick especially if I'm not the one who is sick.  First of all, I just started on a new project and it's my first week there.  Luckily, the client I am working for is someone who I've worked with in the past and have a good relationship with.  Still I don't want to jeopardize the friendship and relationship I have with this person.  I've been agonizing over calling in ever since this morning, but I recognize that I needed to stay home and help David take care of the boys.  After all, I wasn't the only one who was up all night.

The thing that is bugging me is that I was able to overcome a bad day yesterday only to crash head-first into a bad day today.  Yesterday I forgot my cell phone and wallet in my car at the train station.  I ended up losing a shoe running up the train stairs (I recovered it thanks to the conductor) and since I didn't have my wallet I didn't have my ticket.  Luckily for me the conductor who helped me recover my shoe was the one who was collecting tickets and he excused me.  And, luckily for me my husband drove down to drop off some money so I could eat lunch and take the train back home.

Even though not so great things happened to me yesterday, I was able to convince myself that things would get better and they did.  The events of yesterday didn't swallow me up into a cloud of despair.  But, today things are different; I feel as though I've let little things back me into a corner and I honestly feel like there's a rain cloud over my head.  I am hoping that tomorrow is a better day.

Be Prepared - I am So NOT a Boy Scout

Yesterday I started a new project; a former client called me to see if I wanted to work on her project and it just so happened I was free.  See people, I am not so inept that people who've worked with me before don't want to work with me again.  The project does not entail work on the software that I normally work on but does entail project management - something I like to do and want to do more of.

It's nice working with someone from your past whom you enjoy working with and it's not often that I get that chance, so yeah I'm happy.  I have an early meeting at work and I thought I'd get to the gym.  I set my alarm last night for 4:30 am and I got up on time, but I spent 15 minutes putzing around and playing a game on my Crackberry Blackberry and by the time I got my stuff together and got into the car, it was already 5:00 am.  I got in the car and started for the gym thinking that I could squeeze in at least 20 minutes, but halfway to the gym I realized that I had forgotten my inhaler and my membership card.

So, I decided to turn back home.  If I had just forgotten my membership card, I would have pressed on because they have my information on file - the inhaler is a must.  It seems as though all my life I've been running around for things and my tendency towards tardiness has made me set clocks and alarms 15 to 30 minutes fast.  Lately - in the past 3 years - the tardiness has gotten worse.  By worse I mean that I am no longer 10 minutes early but usually spot on or 5 minutes late.  It makes me crazy.

Procrastination wasn't something that I used to do, but I'm afraid it's become a very bad habit.  I've decided that if I just put my stuff together for the next day the night before, all this running around could be avoided even if I decide to sit in the bathroom and putz around on the Blackberry.  It's sad that items of convenience like cell phones and the Internet have made me less efficient instead of more efficient.  As the Boy Scouts motto goes, "Always be prepared.