Tomorrow is my oldest son's official first day of preschool. We're trying something new this year and splitting his time between his old preschool at the local park district and a nearby Catholic preschool. One of the preschools is a 3 year old program and the other a 4 year old program. The plan is to gradually move him into a 4 year old program. Given that his birthday is right on the cut-off date, David and I are trying to decide if he will be ready for Kindergarten next year.
Last year, I wrote about Nick's preschool experience and I think it was harder on me than it was on him. This year, I am trying to make the first day of school a non-event but I'm finding it hard. When I was school aged, I loved, LOVED school and I still do. But, with last year's events I have started dreading the first day of school. I worry about how our son will do socially. I worry that I will be told by his preschool teacher that he's just not ready for preschool. I worry that the "developmental delays" that the "experts" seem to see (and I don't - not really) will make it hard for him.
But, I also know that I cannot protect my child from every little thing and I just need to toughen up and let go. I worry and I can't help it because ever since the events that took place over a year ago, I question EVERYTHING that I do and EVERY decision I make. I worry that I'm not a good mother. I know that it sounds extreme but our little family has been through a lot. 2007 was not a stellar year for us and 2008 has been a little better, but not much.
With the exception of the work situation shifting yet again (marketing person at the consulting company I work for getting laid off along with some other folks and my company withholding payment to subcontractors even though clients are paying the invoices related to these subcontractors), things seem to have the potential of settling down now that we're in a permanent house. Seriously bad things seem to be happening at my company and I wonder when I will get the phone call that my company is no more.
But for now, I need to get over the hurdle of the first day of preschool. I will probably hold my breath until the first full week of school and maybe into October. I am that uneasy about it and I am that unready for it.
It's funny how much our kids' schooling can stress us out. My 1st grader has her first spelling test on Friday and I'm nervous about it. :)
Posted by: Asianmommy.com | August 28, 2008 at 03:01 PM