Lately the world seems a little dark to me. Not sure if it's because of the "post holiday let down" or because the weather is crappy. It could be because the hubby is sick - the strep throat seemed to disappear for all of a couple of days - or it could be because I put in a 50 hour work week this week. For whatever reason it seems that I feel things much more lately than usual.
People who don't return e-mails and those that say unkind things seem to make my heart twist a little. It makes me wonder how in the world I will survive my boys' upsets and heartbreaks in the future. I look at their smiling faces and wonder how I will handle the moment when someone doesn't want to play with them or when they are disappointed that they didn't get invited to a birthday party. Will I be able to help them through their first heartbreak or will I just feel it worse than them?
Feeling what your child feels a million times more isn't a sign of weakness or being a bad parent. Instead, I think that it's just part of being a parent. Sometimes, especially days when I am feeling things so acutely, I think that I will never be able to survive my sons growing up. There are days that I wish I could crawl under a rock or at least stop the ability I have to empathize.
sorry you're feeling so blue. i just got out of a funk myself. also, i think that i handle my own emotional issues worse than i handle their troubles. for some reason, maybe it's a diversion for me, whenever they get sad or upset, i "rise" to the occasion. and they're all better... i'm they're hero. but i can never seem to be my own hero.
Posted by: mamazilla | January 09, 2009 at 03:44 PM