Chicago Chick

Work, Work, and More Work

The reason I haven't been posting regularly is because I've been spending every moment of my life either working, sleeping/eating, or hanging out with the boys.  I have watched a lot of Nick Jr - the boys have left Sprout behind and are probably not likely to return.  I have watched a bazillion episodes of Max and Ruby and have actually been entertained.

Work has been absolutely busy and this past week has been especially stressful.  It's never a good week when the CIO calls all the managers into an emergency meeting to tell all of you that you need to a better job of generating a report that is distributed to the entire company.  And, it's not a good week when on of your co-workers (all of us who are busy with things to accomplish) comes into your office to talk about how stressed out they are.  In the end, it will all work out.  It always does.

Life is . . .

Actually not so bad. It's crazy at work, but great at home. Honestly, I wouldn't have it be any other way.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

When You're Sick Everything Falls Apart

I have this cold that I've been fighting for what seems like forever.  First the boys had it, then David had it, and now I have it.  It has thrown a monkey-wrench into everything from my work outs to trying to practice the great things that I've learned from my attendance at the Landmark Forum.

For the past 5 days, bedtime changed from the traditional yelling to no yelling at all.  Today, I have yelled more times that I care to admit, but I have little to no patience and I'm tired of looking at toys strewn all over the floor.  There has been biting (the younger one biting the older one) and crying (both of them when I give them time outs).  But, there has been absolutely no spanking - a tiny miracle.

I'm not looking forward to going back to work because I still don't feel well but I'm thinking that it may be the best thing for all of us.  At least I will be able to close my office door and get some stuff done and even if I don't feel well - people at work at least cut me some slack.  That never happens at home.

I'm Still Here - Only More So

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.  I am still very much here, but have a completely different outlook on life.  I took a weekend class at Landmark Education and it really changed the way I look at people and situations - in a good way.  I initially signed up for the weekend class because things in my life weren't going the way the way I thought they should be.

I've always been very productive and positive and I felt that 2008 had been a terrible year.  I wasn't as productive and I certainly was NOT positive about anything.  Essentially, I was just worn down and I thought that the class could help me see things better or at least help me change people around me.  Instead, after a 3 1/2 day class what I learned was that I was the one who was being an a$$*&%e.  It was the meaning that I was putting on events in my life that made me behave a certain way and lay the blame on the way my life was or was not going on those around me.  By taking responsibility for imposing meaning where there probably wasn't any, I was living my life as a victim.

It sounds like a lot of "touchy-feely" and "new-agey" crap and as I talk about it, it still does.  But even still, I have not had peace of mind like I have now.  There are events that have happened in the past that I have been able to let go of.  And, there are things that have been said in the past couple of days that normally would have upset me, but haven't.  Whatever the reason for why it works, I actually feel good and I've noticed that the people who live and deal with me day to day have noticed a positive difference.

So, yes - I am still here blogging away.  Only now I actually feel like I'm present and not just living life by going through the motions.

Taking a Step Back

Lately work has been busy, but busy in a good way. Today I got some news - an option really - but it would mean a step back for me. In the long run it will be a good thing for me and my family. It would mean less time at work and more time to hang out with the boys.

Part of me didn't want to take the option because it would feel like a demotion of sorts; even if it's a self-imposed demotion. But, in the end (after talking it over with David) I decided that taking the option would be the best thing. The option would be challenging enough to keep me still interested in work. And, most importantly, the flexibility to be home in time for dinner. Sometimes taking a step back isn't bad after all.

There are some things that go along with taking the option that aren't so great. But those things are not that impossible to overcome. We'll see - the next few months should be interesting.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Big Events

It has been a crazy, CRAZY week.  I spent the first part of this week doing accounting stuff.  Part of my job has an accounting component to it.  When I left the accounting/finance world I swore that I would never go back, but it's a small part of my current job.  And, even though this week and dealing with the accounting component was excruciatingly painful, I am hoping that in the coming months that it will take up less and less of my time.

This week, my youngest son started preschool for those who missed the traditional cut-off.  The class is 90 minutes twice a week and the teachers are the same as my oldest son's first preschool teachers.  The youngest one did just fine and when you ask him if he likes school he smiles and nods his head yes.  It's amazing how different kids from one family - even those that are so close in age - can be.

It's not that my oldest boy hated school or had a hard time adjusting.  Instead, I think it had a lot to do with me and the anxiety and worry I had about him.  The anxiety had to do with the events that occurred right before our oldest started preschool.  It was not a fun time for me and the worry made it worse for everyone - especially my son.  But, what's done is done and school will be forever an anxious experience for our oldest.

This week ended with my birthday.  Yep, I am officially one year older and closer to my 40th birthday.  So far everyone who matters has called, texted, or e-mailed me birthday wishes.  May 2009 be the best year yet!

In a Dark Place

Lately the world seems a little dark to me.  Not sure if it's because of the "post holiday let down" or because the weather is crappy.  It could be because the hubby is sick - the strep throat seemed to disappear for all of a couple of days - or it could be because I put in a 50 hour work week this week.  For whatever reason it seems that I feel things much more lately than usual.

People who don't return e-mails and those that say unkind things seem to make my heart twist a little.  It makes me wonder how in the world I will survive my boys' upsets and heartbreaks in the future.  I look at their smiling faces and wonder how I will handle the moment when someone doesn't want to play with them or when they are disappointed that they didn't get invited to a birthday party.  Will I be able to help them through their first heartbreak or will I just feel it worse than them?

Feeling what your child feels a million times more isn't a sign of weakness or being a bad parent.  Instead, I think that it's just part of being a parent.  Sometimes, especially days when I am feeling things so acutely, I think that I will never be able to survive my sons growing up.  There are days that I wish I could crawl under a rock or at least stop the ability I have to empathize.

Do You Ever Wonder

What's the point?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Like Being Fired Out of a Cannon

I'm trying to keep calm, but after cleaning off the kitchen island of what seemed like MONTHS of paper and crap - why am I always the one cleaning this thing off - I decided that I would try to get my head around the things that I need to accomplish for the coming week.  Not only is there a ton of things to do for work (naturally) but there are a ton of things that I need to accomplish for the boys.  The oldest one is going to be changing preschool schedules and the youngest one is starting preschool.

So, there is the juggling of contacting current and future teachers as well as trying to fit driving time into the schedule.  Then there are the doctor appointments to schedule and the dentist appointment for the youngest one.  And, since the winter holidays are finished it's the "plan your child's summer" season.  Seriously, why is there such a mad rush to plan the summer during January?  I realize that programs fill up quickly but I've barely gotten my head around the winter holidays being over.

Last night I took the lights off the tree (and David hauled the tree to the curb) and put away the huge Christmas train we bought the boys this year.  Sadly, the boys woke up with morning and were less than thrilled to see that their tree and train were gone.  It took almost a half hour to console them and to assure them that there would be another tree with the Christmas train underneath next year.

It's been a crazy holiday season and I'm scarcely able to catch my breath before dealing with the post-holiday insanity.  Sometimes it feels as though I'm being fired out of a cannon.

Inexpensive but Priceless Art

The boys and I spent this afternoon finger painting a couple of pictures for my office at work.  There are 2 finger paintings from the summer before last hanging on my wall and I thought it would be fun to spend the day making new ones.  The results are outstanding and it's cheap and easy to do.  Plus, they really like spending a couple of hours getting messy.

I have the boys use regular tempera paints and paper that we use in our printer.  When the paints dry, I mount the masterpieces on archival mounting panels that have adhesive that activates in a hot oven.  The end result is pretty cool and people who stop by my office always comment on how clever they are.

Total cost of toddler masterpieces: $40.00.  It's even less expensive because I use the same boards over and over; you just need to heat up the boards and the old painting comes off.  Then, replace the old painting with the new one and viola, as they say.  Plus, they really love seeing what their finished art looks like.

Clean up was pretty easy too because we put the boys in the tub with a couple of capfuls of Mr. Bubble.

This Year I Will . . .

For Christmas this year I got a book, This Year I Will . . . How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True.  It's an easy read, but I've only been able to get through the first couple of chapters.  It's hard to read anything undisturbed around here.  Someone is always jumping on something or running or jumping off of something they shouldn't have been on in the first place.  The book looks promising and I especially like that it's not a "how I will stop doing something" book.

I haven't made any New Year's Resolutions for 2009, which is unlike years past.  But, this year I want to make a few large resolutions - one from each category (health, family, home, and career).  They all seem to be related and maybe I'll change my mind when it comes time to write them down.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and a safe and peaceful New Year.  I'm certain that no matter where you are or what state of mind you're in, safe and peaceful holidays are always a good thing.