Afraid

There are so many things that I need to do that sometimes if I think about it too much, I get completely freaked out.  Freaking out is never helpful, but seriously I am afraid.  I'm afraid that there are so many things at home that need my attention that I'm unable to get to them all.  I'm afraid that new responsibilities at work are too much for me to handle (even though I know that I can call on others to help).  I'm afraid that my health is suffering because of all the stress I'm under.

And, the biggest fear is that I'm afraid that I will disappoint myself and others.  It's a lot of stress and 80% of it is self-imposed.  After all, there are 2 of us at home to take care of the boys and the household.  Actually, it's more like 1.25 people - I am the .25.  And, there are other people at work that I can delegate things to.  The only thing that I really should be concerned about is my health and what I'm doing to myself by putting these ridiculous demands on myself.

I swear, sometimes I am my own worst enemy.  I can't just hide away and wait for the things that need to get done to go away or get taken care of all by themselves.  So, what to do about this?  What else - make a list.  I haven't made a list of things that need to be addressed in a long time.  I think I just need to sit and make a list; break the items down into the some semblance of order; and take them on one at a time.  I know that's what I need to do, but I'm still afraid.