How does one get past being angry? It seems that this is what is holding me back - now more than ever. I'm angry for all these little reasons that seem to accumulate. I'm angry for some very large things that have occurred a year ago and as recent as a few months ago. I'm angry that I have to clean up messes that aren't mine and I'm angry for mistakes that I've made and that I still seem to be paying for and I'm angry for being ignored.
Honestly, I should just get over all the things that are irritating me, but I don't know how to get past them all. It is exhausting carrying all this baggage around, but I don't know how to put it down and walk away from it. Imagine the things that I can accomplish if I can get past being so pissed off.
It's interesting because I spent the bulk of my 20s being mad at what happened to me as a child (really, nothing out of the ordinary) and I was able to overcome it. And, for most of my 30s I was able to be "anger-free" - or at least I was able to move past the things that were annoying me. Probably because I HAD to; I was busy being pregnant and figuring out how to be a parent.
But, the happenings of the past year have made me angry, distrustful, and less optimistic. It's not a good place to be.
So, what to do?
You're right. It IS exhausting carrying all those negative feelings around with you every day.
What you need to do is figure out a way to symbolically let them go. When I was younger, I felt the same way you did. So, I went skydiving and decided that I was going to leave all that I was feeling up in the air when I jumped out of the plane. I needed some sort of closure, so I chose that method and it worked for me. I was able to let go of the bad and make room in my life for all the good.
While skydiving might not be practical for everyone, at the time, it was for me.
Find a way to symbolically let things go and stick with it. You may be surprised at how much better you feel when you commit to letting it go. It could be an angry letter you just throw in the mailbox; or a marathon you complete; or just letting it all go at the top of a roller coaster. Find what works for you.
It's no fun being weighed down by the past. Find a way to let it go or it will consume you and you'll die of heart disease before you see your boys grow up. Let it go for them.
Posted by: Amy | September 14, 2009 at 08:59 PM