The end of the year is approaching and I am right on schedule with looking back and taking stock of my life and events that have occurred this past year. There are things that I hope for in 2010, but unlike past years, I'm not so quick to throw the current year away for a blank slate. I want to really take a look back and digest what's happened in 2009. I'm hoping that I can take the events of this past year and really look at them instead of merely tossing them aside in anticipation of the new year ahead.
This past year I have witnessed my oldest son really develop into a vivacious child. He used to hate drawing and writing but has recently been so interested in it that there isn't enough paper at home to color on. The littlest one has taken to preschool so well and has turned into quite a social kid. Watching the 2 of them play together makes me feel as though the rocky start to preschool and the "autism scare" are so behind us that they almost didn't even happen.
I have learned a lot about myself this past year; I've learned that I although I am competent and compassionate my limits can be easily tested. I've learned that I'm capable of giving unpopular feedback and am okay with not being liked. I've learned that there are things in life that I want and even though I ask for them, it doesn't mean that I'm going to get them. And, if I don't get what I ask for that doesn't necessarily mean that I need to be okay going without. It's okay that things come to and end or that they change because it could mean that things will get better.
Throughout my life change has been an all-consuming theme as it probably is in everyone's life. I think I just forget that. And, I tend to be fixated on how change is a bad thing when it really isn't. I am hoping that I can really take a look at 2009 and come up with a plan on how to make 2010 better based on what I learned. A new year isn't about throwing out the prior year and starting with a new slat. This time around it is more about taking what I've learned and using it to make my life better.
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