Chicago Chick

Such a Sap!

Last night, I was watching Dancing With the Stars.  I always watch it and remember when it first came on waaaaay back in 2005.  I remember thinking that the show was schmaltzy and it really wasn't going to last, but as I watched it I realized that it was just good clean fun.  Okay, so maybe the ladies' outfits can be a little skimpy at times but as a reality show it's really good.  I mean, where else can you watch someone with 2 left feet work really hard throughout the season and win it (Kelly Monaco).

And, where else can you watch someone like Donny Osmond, who I've always loved (yeah, more schmaltz), win?  Seriously, I was actually teary eyed with happiness watching him get so excited and pull his family onto the dance floor.  Gah, I'm such a sap!

Cocktail Hour Wisdom

I am lucky to have co-workers that are wise.  Their wisdom seems to come out when we're out having drinks which may explain some of the profound things that they say.  A few months ago, a few of us were out and my co-worker told us that every morning he tells his wife that she is beautiful.  One co-worker asked, "Doesn't telling her that she's beautiful make it less special when you really find her beautiful like when she's dressed up for an event?"  My co-worker responded:

"Just because you don't tell a tall person that they're tall doesn't mean that they're not."

It makes a lot of sense and I remember when he said that we all looked at each other and realized that what he said was so true.  And, when I'm feeling stupid (which I'm not) or fill-in-the-blank (which I'm not), I remember what he said and I realize that I don't need the outside world to validate what I am or am not.

Catching Up

The end of the year is approaching and I am right on schedule with looking back and taking stock of my life and events that have occurred this past year.   There are things that I hope for in 2010, but unlike past years, I'm not so quick to throw the current year away for a blank slate.  I want to really take a look back and digest what's happened in 2009.  I'm hoping that I can take the events of this past year and really look at them instead of merely tossing them aside in anticipation of the new year ahead.

This past year I have witnessed my oldest son really develop into a vivacious child.  He used to hate drawing and writing but has recently been so interested in it that there isn't enough paper at home to color on.  The littlest one has taken to preschool so well and has turned into quite a social kid.  Watching the 2 of them play together makes me feel as though the rocky start to preschool and the "autism scare" are so behind us that they almost didn't even happen.

I have learned a lot about myself this past year; I've learned that I although I am competent and compassionate my limits can be easily tested.  I've learned that I'm capable of giving unpopular feedback and am okay with not being liked.  I've learned that there are things in life that I want and even though I ask for them, it doesn't mean that I'm going to get them.  And, if I don't get what I ask for that doesn't necessarily mean that I need to be okay going without.  It's okay that things come to and end or that they change because it could mean that things will get better.

Throughout my life change has been an all-consuming theme as it probably is in everyone's life.  I think I just forget that.  And, I tend to be fixated on how change is a bad thing when it really isn't.  I am hoping that I can really take a look at 2009 and come up with a plan on how to make 2010 better based on what I learned.  A new year isn't about throwing out the prior year and starting with a new slat.  This time around it is more about taking what I've learned and using it to make my life better.

Life's Twists and Turns

The past week has been a rough one.  It started with disappointment and ended with a new opportunity  - one which I am going to take.  And, just when I think I'm finished learning a lesson, I find that there are different variations of it that I get to learn over again.  Life is exhausting but at least it is never boring.  I can't wait to see what the week ahead brings.

Just When You Think

you're life is a mess, you realize that everything is as it should be.

I'm Getting Better at This

The last entry I wrote was about disappointment and I was a wreck on Monday.  But, here it is Wednesday and I'm fine.  I really am fine.  I was actually fine on Tuesday.  See, I am learning and I'm definitely getting better living through the disappointments!

Ouch!

Back to disappointment and heart break. Ouch! Just ouch.

Wise Words

I have a dry-erase board in my office.  At the beginning of every week, I put up a quote and around December of 2008 I put up my new year's resolutions for 2009.  One of the resolutions that went up on my board last year was to become "cold and unfeeling."  The events in my life at the time were causing me great disappointment and heart ache and it felt as though closing my door and crying were normal occurrences.  So, I figured if I became "cold and unfeeling," I wouldn't be disappointed or hurt.  That new year's resolution was a joke because I am who I am and I'm sensitive by nature.  Cold and unfeeling just aren't things I could ever be.  Or, so I thought.

Here it is almost a year later and the events of this past year have made me less compassionate.  Or, at the very least, I have learned what is important and what is not.  There are things that, in the past, would upset me that today are just one of those things that mildly annoy me.  I'm not sure if I have truly become "cold and unfeeling" or if I've just matured or if I'm just too tired to care.  I have learned that there are things that are not worth getting angry over because there is nothing that I can do to change what happened. 

A few months ago, someone reminded me of the prayer that has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and almost every 12 step program:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference

I would like to think that I am better able to know the difference.