I remember being a kid - like 4 or 5 years old - and waking up on my birthday. I would rush to the living room and on the piano would be a huge bucket of crayons and a birthday card from my parents. It seemed like for years on end I could count on getting that huge bucket of crayons and every year I looked forward to that. It was better than the excitement of Christmas and when I look back, it is one of my most favorite memories. Just thinking about it now makes me giddy.
There are other wonderful memories I have like waking up each day and looking forward to school or the weekend day ahead. For the longest time I would wake up each day and instantly have something to look forward to. I think that it stopped happening regularly in my late 20s - first a day here and a day there and then finally it stopped all together almost 2 years ago. The decline happened so gradually that at first I didn't notice it. But one day I woke up and sat in bed for a moment thinking and I realized that it had stopped.
For a while I just brushed it off because I thought maybe it was something that I had outgrown. This morningg I realized that it's something that I miss so I sat in bed and thought of good things to look forward to like seeing co-workers that I enjoy seeing and talking to or having lunch with A, a former coworker, whose stories of the guys she's dating make me laugh. So this evening as I'm looking back on my day, I'm realizing that it was a good day. I don't know if it had anything to do with taking the time this morning to look for events, places, or people to look forward to, but there are worse ways of starting the day.
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