Chicago Chick

Ah-Choo

I have this thing for shoes.  It's no secret and I've talked about it in a recent post and in past posts here.  But, I've fallen in love with the following:

A Loooong Weekend

The weather has been pretty crappy around here lately.  Well, except for yesterday . . . or maybe it was Friday.  Not sure because the days are just blurring together.  The living room/dining room/kitchen (it's an open space) is painted this wonderful shade of green called "wasabi".  Yeah and it LOOKS like the color of wasabi.  I picked it out and have no idea what I was thinking except that maybe I was annoyed that we moved out of the city and purchased my parents house. 

Okay, so maybe it wasn't so much the fact that we purchased my parents house but that we moved out of the city and now we live next door to people who think that their home is located in a trailer park.  Seriously!  There are A LOT of tasteless tchotchkes in our neighbor's front yard.  Case in point - the fake flower holders (one of which is in my front lawn); the TWO stripped canvas awnings (2 of them because they couldn't be bothered to measure the size of the porch correctly); the lawn chairs on the front porch; and the light sticks scattered around the front of their house.  I am serious - I would not make this stuff up.  The outside rivals the inside of the house which includes prints from the 1980s (think Patrick Nagel) in their living room flanked by a ginormous projection television and the smell of dog urine wafting through the house.  But, who am I to talk?  My living room/dining room/kitchen was the color of a shushi condiment.

Back to my long weekend which started on Thursday and consisted of painting the wasabi colored walls a bright shade of white.  Yes, I said white.  I figured we could add color to our home with pictures; mostly ones that I have taken with my trusty manual 35mm SLR camera.  It's now Sunday and we managed to put at least the first coat of paint on the walls.  David is cutting in but I've worn my fingers to the nubbins by rolling all of the walls.  The walls are still not done, but since I finished off one of the larger walls and managed to put a coat of paint on the remaining walls I figured tomorrow was a day off for me.  I'm not lifting a single roller or paint brush!  In the end it will be worth it.

Articles I'm Meaning to Read

One of the fun things about being part of BlogHer and having the feeds on your blog is that you get to see some pretty amazing articles and posts from other BlogHer members.  And, some of those articles have links on them - links to more amazing articles.  Here are a few articles that sounded so interesting, but I haven't had the time to read:

Agelessness by Kyran Pittman
Molly Ringwald: On Growing Up, Growing Older, and Growing Confident
Midlife Crisis on Momofali's Site

Then there are the posts that you yourself have written months, years, eons ago that capture your life at a point it time.  It's fun going back and reading some old posts. 

The Perfect Children

I was the perfect parent - this was LONG before I had children of my own.  And, when I was pregnant with my first child, I knew that my children were going to be the perfect children.  This was before I actually gave birth to the boys.  Along the way, it's been made painfully clear that I am far from the perfect parent and my boys are far from the perfect children.  I've also learned that anyone who believes that they are the perfect parent does NOT have children of their own.

Back in the late 80s and early 90s I loved Tracey Ullman - I still do but don't see much of her on television anymore.  In one of her skits she mentions that staying at home to raise her son was like spending 5 years with a "drunk midget" (her words not mine).  Seriously, she said that; see for yourself.  The funny thing is that after being a parent for 6 years, I realize that she's actually kinda right.  Luckily, I am the one who gets to trot off to work.

Tracey Ullman: Live and Exposed - My Son Johnny

Feeling. . . Everything

When I was a child, I was told that I was "too sensitive".  This translates into you cry too much or you take things too personally.  As an adult I was told that I was "too sensitive".  This translates into you cry too much, you take things too personally, or you get upset (read: pissed off or angry) too quickly.  And, yeah I guess I'm "sensitive" - I cry at sad movies and I laugh out loud at the funny ones.  But, I wonder if there is such a thing as "too sensitive".  I mean, really, is anyone ever told that they're "not sensitive enough".  

I suppose that being "not sensitive enough" is the equivalent of Jennifer Aniston saying that Brad Pitt is missing a sensitivity chip.  BTW does anyone think that sometimes her face looks like a very thin Tonya Harding with straight hair?  Sorry - back to the sensitivity topic.  It's not like I dissolve into tears when I get a paper cut or that I break out into fits of anger when I'm disappointed, so I don't think that I am "too sensitive".  I am realizing that I have a lot of compassion for others and that I have high expectations of myself (and of others).  So, when I see something not-so-great happening to someone I can empathize. And, when I am disappointed - especially from someone who I have let into my heart - I ache a little.

I can't help if I seem to feel, well, everything.  It's the way that I am wired.  I don't know how to be any other way. 

Knowing When to Say When

I have been a parent for almost 6 1/2 years and in that time I have learned A LOT. Things like how to swaddle and diaper a baby, how to burp a baby, and how to teach a child to read. I have not learned how to teach a child how to tie shoes. I have tried, but for some reason I lose my patience. The boys attended a shoe tying class this morning at the nearby Nordstroms. I have learned how to disengage when the boys are learning something new. By disengage I mean look away and have David watch. That seemed to work because the oldest son now knows how to tie his shoe. The youngest one...not so much.

Is it Friday Yet?

I am finding that I have become one of those people who looks forward to the weekend on Tuesdays. I think that I am in BAD need of an attitude adjustment or a change of scenery.

WFH

The company I work for does not necessarily have a company-wide work from home (WFH) policy.  The company-wide rule is to leave it to each individual department head.  And, since the department head that I work for cares less about face time and more about results, I am able to work from home more often than most.  Except I don't take advantage of it.

I don't take advantage of it because it's distracting to work from home with 2 small boys; one of them is home from school by 11:15 am and the other by 3:15 pm.  Plus, with a stay at home husband, working from home can be challenging.  I know that in some places (and in some people's minds, including my some of my coworkers), working from home is the equivalent of a day off without actually having to account for it.  Maybe I was raised in the completely different era, but the guilt of saying that I'm working from home and NOT actually working makes me a bit queasy.

Today I am actually working from home.  For me this means that I get up at 6:00 am with every intention of getting dressed and then starting my work day at 7:00 when the boys go off to school.  In reality, it means getting up at 6:00 am and thinking "Crap! I have a zillion work things to do and I just need to check email before I hop into the shower." which quickly turns into me sitting at the desk answering emails and working.  I actually stop to go to the bathroom and make the oldest son's lunch, kiss them good bye, and wave at the window.  Then, I go back to work - totally un-showered and unpresentable for the day.  Before I know it, I've been sitting at the desk working away and it's 1:00 pm.

This scenario was not what happened today.  It COULD HAVE happened, but because the oldest son had a school presentation this morning, I was showered and presentable by 9:45 am - just barely enough time to get to the school on time.  The guilt of missing the oldest son's presentation is far worse than skipping out a work day for a couple of hours.  And, I didn't check my email once!  I'm learning - slowly I am learning.

iPads and Other Things

I purine based an iPad2 last Friday and I love,Love, LOVE it. And...so do the boys. So much so that they're fighting over it. The oldest son loves using the notes app and the younger one loves the drawing app that I downloaded for him. It's a little sad that I am fighting over a piece of technology with the boys.

Ugh!

What is going on with the weather!?!?  It's like we had hot, humid, and sunny for a nanosecond and now we're back to the gloom.  I never thought the weather would impact my mood or my energy, but I'm starting to think that there is a connection.  The minute it becomes sunny it will be also humid and unbearable.  I swear, this year's weather is turning me into a complete bitch!

Adventures in Cooking

A week ago, I stopped by the local Whole Foods and picked up a Clean Eating magazine.  In the past week, I made 1 recipe (crab cakes) and am getting ready to make at least 3 more from the same magazine.  Not too shabby for a $5.99 investment.  And, yes, there are some pretty good articles in the magazine as well.  Normally, I'm not huge into cooking.  It takes time and energy and it's messy.  But, after a week of eating microwave-heated (once fresh) meals or eating out or eating pb&j sandwiches I'm hungry for something that tastes like real food.

We'll see . . . these things come and go for me.  One minute I am cooking (chopping, shredding, mixing, etc.) and the next minute I'm just heating.  I'd like to feed my family something other than the usual.

Blogging Under the Influence

I'm no angel, I admit it.  Even if I said I was, I would be hard-pressed to find anyone who would believe me.  I received a comment the other day on one of my posts from "My Biggest Fan."  Not sure who that is and any guesses I may have would probably incorrect.  The people/person who would leave a comment under that moniker would leave his/her email address so that I would know it was them.  Or, at least I think they would.

Anyway. . . blogging under the influence.  I honestly cannot remember why I wrote what I did in the last post.  The only thing that I can guess is that I had a very bad day at work (I did) and that 1 drink later (a very strong dirty martini - not made strong on MY request) at a nearby watering hole with a co-worker who had an equally bad day, I wrote that post on the train.  Although, the time stamp on it shows that I would have written it during the work day.  Strange. . .

Sometimes Goodbye is the Hardest Thing to Say

But, in the end goodbye is the best outcome one can hope for. I know I will heal. It just takes time.

The Vacation's Over

Last week, all of us went to visit my parents in the desert.  The boys had a great time and I was able to relax - okay, I relaxed a little.  It was like getting hit with an bucket full of ice water when I got back to work this past Tuesday.  I think I put in like a zillion hours and by the time Friday at 6:00 pm rolled around, I was exhausted and felt like a puddle of tiredness.  Think boneless chicken farm image from the Far Side cartoons.

Why are things like this?  So many reasons, but one of the major reasons is that the finance function of my department was moved to Accounting.  It once reported under me and I had headcount to complete the tasks.  But, once the function moved to another department I lost the headcount.  Unfortunately, the responsibilities did not go with the headcount as it was supposed to.  The work still very much needs to get done and when you are the only person in the department that has the knowledge to do the work, well you know how it goes.

I need to figure out a way to balance things; hold people accountable; make it clear that there is a negative impact to me doing the work (i.e., the area that I'm responsible for is not churning out the work that is needed).  I've tried to do this in the past but work events have gotten in the way.  I need to try again.