Chicago Chick

Does This Sound Familiar?

After a long, day at work you walk up the stairs of your porch to your door.  You sigh thinking, "I am SO glad that it's Friday!"  As you put your key in the front door, you hear a very loud screech followed by yelling.  Yes, I said YELLING.  When you open the door, one child meets you at the door crying followed by your child's father trying to explain that said child is crying because they got a time out.  Right behind all of them is your oldest child telling you that his younger brother (the one crying and who got a time out) tried to hit him in the head.

The stress is unbearable.  After a very long, loooong week at work where you have gone to meetings to hear people tell you that something wasn't done because it was "too hard"; have heard countless reasons why another department is upset at your department; have put together a budget for next year with mere hours notice; have worked 3 months on a proof of concept that the users have decided to just go full-blown implementation on; have reviewed countless resumes, interviewed countless candidates, and written countless emails letting recruiters know why you will not be pursuing their candidate; and now have come home to a household of stupid, it is enough to make you want to run away. 

And, that is exactly what I did.  I told the boys and their father that I was going to walk back out the door and start over again.  I told them that if I walked through this door and the atmosphere was the same, I would get in the car and drive away to some place where (1) people were not fighting and (2) people were happy to see me.  Seriously, my next stop would have to the nearest bar where NObody knew my name.  So, I packed up my work bag and grabbed my keys and walked out the door.  I took a deep breathe, put my key back in the lock and walked through the door.

Nobody was crying or fighting or yelling.  I got hugs and kisses from the boys and put my work bag away.  I also picked up my shoes that were laying by the door and put those away.  I went through the sparse mail that we got and washed my hands.  The peace lasted for 15 minutes before yelling by the boys' father started again because my youngest son "asked him too many questions."  I am now hiding out in the bathroom writing this post on my Droid. 

They say that the best way to ruin a marriage is to have children.  I disagree; the best way to ruin a marriage is to lose sight of the reason why you decided to marry the person you did in the first place.

I Would Post

but I am WAY too tired to string a sentence together. 

Too Much

This weekend has had its highs and its lows.  This evening was definitely a low.  While brushing my youngest son's teeth - yes, I still brush his teeth to make sure that he does them well - he said something that was so hateful and unexpected.  It was in response to the fact that he didn't want to brush his teeth and he didn't want to go to bed and he didn't want to go to school tomorrow. 

I'm not going to repeat what he said, but I think at the ripe old age of 5 (soon to be 6) it was completely inappropriate.  So much so that I took away his computer and television privileges.  It breaks my heart that at such a young age, he said what he did.  When I asked where he got it, he told me that he heard it from our next door neighbor.  The girl is about 6 years old.  Needless to say, my son is not going to be playing with the next door neighbor and I will be speaking to her mother.

I Blame Minnesota

My eyes have been so dry and itchy lately and my asthma has been flaring up.  I blame Minnesota and the wildfire that wafted smoke in our direction a week or so ago.  Seriously, my eyes are so itchy and dry and irritated that it looks like I've aged a good 10 - 15 years.  Ugh!

Zen Den

I have been looking for ways to feel comfortable at home.  For those of you who have small children or children who live with you, you can understand that having a space of your own that is clutter free is something that is unusual.  For example, this past weekendI painted a 5 by 6 foot MDF board with magnetic primer and then chalkboard paint.  The chalkboard was intended for our kitchen to put the kid's schedules, pictures, grocery lists, etc.  David put the chalkboard up in the kitchen while I was at work, but by the time I got home, my oldest son had already drawn all over it and was upset when I wanted to clean it off.  Nothing ever seems to be yours when you have children.  It's a blessing to be surrounded by so much love but, as an adult, I would like some space that isn't cluttered with paper or toys or isn't sticky.

I chuckle as I write this because it reminds me of how my parents probably must have felt.  There was not a single space in my house as a kid for my parents.  We got into EVERYTHING.  The company that I work for has a pretty flexible "work from home" policy and I would love to take advantage of it, but never did because there was no place at home for me to "work from home."  Until now.  Two weekends ago, I helped clear out the office and paint it a lovely, calming shade of beige.  David brought up a book shelf, a cedar chest, and the rug we used to have in our home in the city.  I also painted the desk that was in the office.  After arranging everything, I now have what is being referred to as the "Zen Den".  It is the one room in the house that is truly mine and reflects my personality.  I could NOT be happier!

There is plenty of place to meditate after a very stressful day and it is free of any clutter - adult or child male clutter.  I swear if it had  comfy bed, I would never leave.  I know that one day I will lose my den because one of the boys will refuse to continue to share a room with his brother.  By then I am hoping that the basement is clutter free.  We'll see.  For now I am happy.

Someone or Something is Trying to Tell Me Something

Maybe the universe is telling me not to post an entry. So far it's taken a zillion tries to get the Internet at home to work and now I am having issues connecting to Typepad. I wonder if sending a post via email's gonna work....

Making it Snow

I have had a lot of trouble falling asleep lately. Who am I kidding?!?! I have had trouble falling asleep all my life. However, falling asleep and STAYING asleep for the past 4 weeks has been tough. There are moments in my life where stress gets the best of me and this happens, but it's happening and I'm not really stressed. Seriously, I'm not.

I remember as a child (when I was 3 or 4 years old), I would make myself fall asleep by staring into space and "making it snow". By this I mean, I would stare into the darkness and make my eyes not focus on anything in particular and suddenly I would see specks of light. The specks of light would become a flurry - almost like it was snowing - and before I knew it, I would be asleep. And, I would STAY asleep and I would actually dream. I also remember the comforting feeling right before I feel asleep.

I've been trying to do this lately and I'm finding that I cannot "make it snow". Maybe because as an adult I am unable to unfocus my mind and shut it down. Who knows? But, how I wish I could "make it snow" and just fall asleep.

Best Weekend EVA!

Even though I spent the better part of this long weekend painting a room, I still think that this was the best weekend ever (eva!).  The boys played nicely together - although there were a few scrapes and disagreements.  I think that a lot of it had to do with the fact that the youngest son and I had a "run in" during the first part of the week in which I took away his computer and any television rights he thought he may have had.  His behavior has gotten so much better - although there were a few scrapes and disagreements mostly between US.

Sensitive

I have been called "sensitive", aactually, TOO sensitive. When I was a little girl, someone would look at me the wrong way or I would watch something sad on television and I would well up. As an adult, one of my managers told me that I would change. I have changed a little, but I am still sensitive. Maybe I am just learning to set boundaries.