I recently posted a naked picture of myself on Facebook. Before you get all excited, it was naked in terms of not having any make up on. Seriously, it was a picture with no make up, no Photoshop, no concealer, nada, zip, zilch. It was taken on a Droid, right after I got out of the shower and dried my hair.
So, what possessed me to post something like that on Facebook - I am after all, not what I would consider someone with movie star looks. I'm officially into my 40s after recently having a birthday a couple of weeks ago and I realized that I actually feel comfortable in my own skin. It's not a "I gave up because I'm older" kind of feeling, but a "I really do like myself" kind of feeling.
In my 30s I started feeling comfortable in my own skin, but then something happened. I had 2 children back to back 7 years ago and suddenly I had forgotten who I was. My body wasn't like it used to be and I was mired in the guilt of the should/shouldn't bes (e.g., because I was a mother I should be driving a mini van, because I was a mother I shouldn't be walking around in 4 inch stilettos). The worst part was that I wasn't able to enjoy my sons because I was so concerned about what I should or should not be doing.
The great thing about time is that you realize that it does not matter what everyone else thinks. As time passed, I became more comfortable (and less guilty) about who I truly am - a mom who does NOT EVER want to drive a minivan and is happy to run (literally run) around in pointy-toed, high heeled shoes. Someone who is still me - the me BEFORE the kids and BEFORE 40 hit. It doesn't make me a bad mother, person, wife, sister, daughter, fill-in-the blank. It just makes me more apt to twist an ankle or have trouble loading groceries into my small car.
So the naked picture? It wasn't the best picture of me (I looked dazed and spacey), but it was honest and it WAS freeing. The best comment was one sent via email from my brother who said I looked good and that posting picture took guts. He said, "most women would never dare post a picture of themselves" like that. I like that I felt comfortable with myself to post such a picture and I love that it was a bit fearless. For a girl who used to be so insecure, it feels like a great big exhale. Not so bad for a 41st birthday present.
When I get comfortable in my 40-something skin, I'll post a naked photo on FB. Until then, I'm in hiding.
Posted by: Eatmisery | January 23, 2012 at 09:47 PM
Are you comfortable in your 39 skin? Youre not 40 yet!
Posted by: Chicago Chick | January 25, 2012 at 09:52 AM