Chicago Chick

A Touch of Happy

My oldest son is very allergic to mosquito bites which is not a surprise since I am very allergic to mosquito bites. If I get one on my foot, my entire foot will swell up. It's not pretty so I try to stay away from places where there may be a lot of bugs. Unfortunately, getting a 7 year old boy to stay away from grass and trees during the summer is an impossible feat. It's fine - luckily I have figured out how to treat the allergic reactions and because they're not life threatening treating bug bites does not involve a trip to the emergency room.
 
This weekend, my son started to itch and when I looked at his leg covered in mosquito bite welts, I knew that we would be taking a trip to Walgreens for anti-itch cream and oral antihistamines. I started giving him the oral antihistamine Friday night but by Sunday I had to break out the antihistamine spray and ice bags. He's a trooper and is fine, but the boys' father woke me up this morning at 1:30 to tell me that my son was really itchy. Seriously?!?! I wonder if I am the only parent of these 2 beautiful boys who can figure out how to comfort them.
 
So, I gave my son a dose of oral antihistamine and sprayed the topical antihistamine on his legs. I tucked him into my bed and put ice bags on his legs and feet and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. It was my sons' father's day to put him to bed (don't ask I don't want to explain) and when he saw that our son was tucked into my bed gave me that "it's my night beotch" look. I told him that he could sleep in the bed and I would sleep on the couch and then went to check on my other son. 
 
Our dog, Redmond, sleeps in the boys' room so when the ruckus occured, he woke up which woke up my youngest son who did not want to be in his room alone. I picked up my youngest son and tucked him into my bed which already had my other son and their father in it. I ended up sleeping in one of the boys' bed with the dog sleeping in the space between the 2 beds. I realized that I could have been completely pissed off because I am not "allowed" to have the boys sleep in my bed when it is my turn to put them to sleep. But, I was actually happy. As I drifted off to sleep, I was happy that my sons were in a comfy bed and that the oldes one was sleeping soundly and not itchy. And, I was happy that my dog, Redmond, was by my side and at the slightest disruption, he would wake up and defend me. It sounds ridiculous, but it was true. 
 
Althought I am exhausted this morning, I have a sense of peace and I haven't had that in a very long time.

Why Can't You Just. . .

I have lived a life of expectations and, by enlarge, I have lived up to those expectations. What I am starting to realize is that expectations although accompanied with good intentions are not always fair. And, not all expectations put on people are good.

Case in point, someone in my life has asked steadily "why can't you just..." for example during an argument I am asked "why can't you just be nicer" or "why can't you just stop doing that.". In other words, why can't you just stop being you. Nothing was ever right or seemed to be.

What I have come to realize in that relationship is that the more I would "just be or do" whatever this person asked, the less of me there was/is. It is not the way I want to live.

I Hate Summer!

I'm right on schedule - the bitching about summer.  It always happens during the same time that a particular local food festival is going on.  It's about this time every year when I've had enough of the heat and humdity.  The hot weather is ennough to make me feel like a complete cow in whateve it is I am wearning.  I hate summer and I'm over this particular summer!

Sore Throat and Capes

Sunday night, I got the WORST night's sleep ever!  Let's just say that the person who likes to remind me how "thoughtless and selfish" I am because I wake this person up occasionally, woke me up not once - not twice - but THREE times.  At around 4:30 am on Monday, I ended up giving up on sleep and got up to get ready for work.  Admittedly, I was super pissed off so when I walked into the bathroom attached to my bedroom and realized that I had forgotten to vacuum, I dragged the vacuum into the bathroom and started to right the wrong.  It woke up the person who loves to tell me that I am "thoughtless and selfish".  Ooops!

By 3:00 pm on Monday, I started sneezing and sneezing and sneezing.  I was still sneezing when I picked up the boys and it continued until I finished getting them ready for bed and washed my face.  It finally ended when I fell asleep in the boys bedroom but I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose.  I am hoping that it is allergies, but I can't be sure.  What I can be sure of is that I have a TON of stuff to do and need every bit of energy I have. 

I read an article about how the Supermom isn't something that moms strive for.  The article is called "Forget Supermoms" but I'm not so sure that the article really illustrates that.  I think what the article is saying is that with so much technology at our fingertips, mothers are able to better organize or be productive using these tools.  I can assure you that the need to "do it all" and "do it all really well" has not left the mom ranks.  If it has, then someone needs to tell me how to cope because I'm feeling the pressure to do everything well especially since we rely on my income alone.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Today is a very, VERY busy day for the boys. First allergist appointment then swim class then haircuts then lunch then a trip to Toys R Us then off to film a train then a local food festival and THEN home!

Hope someone appreciates how tuckered out and ready for bed they'll be. Otherwise they could be cranky because it's going to be a very hot day.

The Eternal Optimist

I am an eternal optimist. I'm an optimist even when things are not going my way. Sure, I bitch about people, places, situations all the time but I always believe that things will get better. I just get annoyed that they don't get better as quickly as I would like. While I realize that the world does not work according to my timelines (I'm grateful when they actually DO), that doesn't stop me from bitching about it. 
 
AND, my optimism extends to most people for the most part. Case in point, the person who I had to put on probabtion who ended up getting promoted. I truly believe that this person can make things better for themselves. My boss thinks I've been drinking when I say this, but I really do believe it. And, I believe
that people in my life - even though they've shown me time and time again that they can't pull themselves together - will be able to make their lives better. 
 
It's crazy that I'm this way because I didn't actually have the easiest childhood. My family was not very well-to-do; saying that we were middle class would be a stretch since my parents came to this country with me and my brother and no jobs. But, maybe it's because of the way that I grew up that I still believe that things will work out. There have been some very tough years but I (and my family) have survived them. Maybe a little bruised and bent but not broken. As an adult, the tough times have made me wiser but not jaded. It's odd.
 
This year has been pretty rocky and it's put my optimism to the test, and I think I've lost some of it. It's only July and I'm hoping that I can hang on to the
majority of it. I need it to survive and I need it so that I can share it with my sons.
 

I Hate the Meantime

I'm not good at living in the "meantime".  The meantime meaning waiting for something to happen.  I'm really good when I'm in control and I am making things happen, but waiting....ugh the waiting.  I am SO bad at the waiting!

Three Hundred Dollars

I want to make some changes in revamping my bedroom. I am thinking of doing some very minimal things like new sheets and bed spread. I didn't want to do anything crazy but after looking online, I'm finding that everything - EVERYTHING - I look at is about $300 to $400. Seriously? When did things get SO expensive?

Pitty Party

I'm trying not to throw myself a pitty party.  It's unproductive and crying makes my eyes swell.  I would much rather figure out how get myself out of this jam.  The funny thing is that the news that I received is actually good news.  It will make my life a little easier.  So, why was I so disappointed?  I was disappointed because I thought that the help would be much greater than what it finally ended up being.  I know. I know - I should be grateful for the help.  Yes, there are lot of other people out there who don't get help and yes, I realize how lucky I am but still, I cannot help but feel some anxiety and disappointment.

I've been through tougher things and I will figure out how to get what I want/need - okay want for my sons.  Someone once told me that this would be a year of transition for me.  Boy, they were not kidding!  So many things are in the midst of changing and it's a good thing.  I know that.