Learning is Painful

There are so many things that I have learned this past year (maybe a little more than a year). Of the many lessons, I think 2 of them stand out as THE most important. The first is to trust myself and the second is to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I say again because before I had my sons, I felt very comfortable in my skin. Then, I had my sons and I had to readjust. I had, after all, given birth to 2 small people within the span of 16 months and my role as I knew it was very different. There is a HUGE transition between not being a parent and being a parent (similarly, from not being a care giver to being a care giver). 
 
I think that everyone has that little voice that they hear in their heads or that gut feeling. Like animals, I think that we have instincts that we can chose to follow. I think that, unlike animals, we have a brain that lets us chose to follow our instincts or not. Some people will call it witchcraft or voodoo, but whatever it is, I know that I have that "inner voice" and this year I have really learned to trust it. So far it has not steered me wrong. It's when I've decided to ignore what it's telling me that I've gotten in trouble. 
 
It's been an extremely challenging year and when I think back to the years and decades before, I can honestly say that I have not had a more painful and stressful year. But, this is the year where I have learned the most even though, on paper, I have lost a lot. In the end (because it's NOT over), I think that I will come out of this period in my life as a stronger and much wiser person.