In my last post I touched on events that happened a year ago. This weekend is the weekend where the boys go to spend time with their father. It's been an adjustment for them - the back and forth and the constant saying good byes. I think they've handled it well, but I'm hyper-sensitive and always on the look out for any signs that they're not doing well.
In the beginning, weekends without them were difficult. They still are but I find strategies for making the weekends go quicker when they're not with me. Keeping busy is definitely a strategy. There was a time when I would occupy my time with cleaning the house. But as time went on, I craved the company of other humans and started to spend Saturday nights out with friends.
This evening, I spent an hour at the new gym with my best friend from high school. One of the things that has come out of my new life is reconnecting with friends from college and high school. It's like coming out of a deep sleep. And, I'm grateful that my friends are still open to having a relationship with me after all these years (decades really).
As my friend and I were hitting the tennis ball back and forth - something I haven't done since I was 9 - she remarked that she would never have guessed that she and I would be playing tennis. I smiled and agreed but inside I felt happy and thankful. This chapter of my life isn't over and I'm by sure when it will be, but in that moment I felt so whole and happy.