Today I had a meeting where I realized that I have truly moved on - or started to anyways. I sat in a 45 minute meeting across from the ex's attorney and had a civil conversation with her. She seems like a very sensible and nice person; I mean, it's not like she is going to be a complete ass. This is her job and I'm sure she has seen the very worst in people. And, I am not a terrible person nor am I particularly evil although my ex did call me a "slut" this morning.
Before Thanksgiving I had suggested to the ex that we follow the holiday terms that we hammered out and agreed to during mediation. He said that he didn't want to do that since the terms were not defined in a parenting agreement and not entered as an order. I said "fine" but don't know why we WOULDN'T follow the agreed upon holiday schedule we worked out in mediation. The mediation documentation is the basis for the parenting agreement, so it will ultimately become a parenting agreement and an order. Plus, it's really standard with holidays being split evenly.
So today we hammered out the holiday schedule and it became a court order until the real parenting agreement becomes an order. Guess what? It completely mirrors the holiday schedule that was worked out in mediation. So the dates that were outlined in the holiday schedule which became a court order were determined and my attorney had to leave the conference room while the ex's attorney drew up the court order. She asked me multiple times for the dates and the times - which I did - and once she reviewed it to make sure it was correct and fair, she gave it to my attorney to review. The ex and I both initialed it and *poof* the 2013 holiday schedule is final.
When I left, I realized how rote this has become. I go to court; say hi to the sheriff, the court reporter, and the clerk. I wait for my attorney to show up and when I get called to the bench, I say "Hi" to the judge. We conduct whatever needs to be conducted and if an order is entered, I get a copy and gather my stuff to leave. I say goodbye to the sheriff, the court reporter, and the clerk. My attorney walks me out and I go back to work. There is no more thinking or feeling. There is no more sadness or grief. There is NO MORE ANGER and I can laugh at things like being called "slut" because I know I'm not.
It's amazing to me and I am thankful that I've gotten to this point.